Monday, February 26, 2007

Naked golden men carrying swords

By now you've probably considered my use of inverted euphamisms and the fact that I am referring to the Oscar statuette. I am away from televisions and am not checking the internet for results (I am tivoing it) and now present my predictions (read: preferences) for Oscar wins, noting that I haven't seen most of the movies and have an agenda. These categories, for the most part, are written in the order of the PDF ballot on

Leading Actor: although I loved Forrest Whitaker on ER until he shot his brains out, I have to give this one to Leonardo DiCaprio--BLOOD DIAMOND who continues to impress FORREST has an oscar, now let's give him an Emmy for guest star on ER.

Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy -- DREAMGIRLS, you mean he can do semi-serious roles along with comedic? Really, he was amazing in this movie which was truly snubbed for best picture WRONG!

Leading Actress: Although I haven't seen it, everyone is raving about Helen Mirren who plays THE QUEEN in THE QUEEN. Long live THE QUEEN!

Supporting Access:And I am telling you: Jennifer Hudson -- DREAMGIRLS. Take that Simon Cowell! CORRECT! I told you. Some of the Idol winners may have record deals, but none have Oscar gold

Animated Feature: Tough one. Although Happy Feet impressed at the box office, I think a lot of it was because of the release of the Harry Potter Trailer, but still boffo. I really liked CARS WRONG, Should have bet on the other horse, um, penguin

Art Direction, Costume Design, Sound Mixing: DREAMGIRLS
ART: The Academy PANS my suggestion
COSTUME: Marie Antoinette won; let them eat their cake for now

Cinematography: Don't care, let's say... The Illusionists... Rats, I was thinking of PAN'S LABYRINTH... along with everything else because I really don't

Directing: LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA. I was at a screening of this at the WB Studios introduced by Stephen Spielberg. One of the finest movies I've ever seen and the directing must have been very difficult, and so this movie earns it. DEPARTED. Missed it again. Guess I should have ignored the THE.

Documentary Feature: President Gore (sic) will provide a very uncharismatic acceptance speech for AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH. Although many of these are popular with the Democrats (aka: voting Academy members), AIT is the one that has made the biggest cultural impact. CORRECT, and kudos to the Veep on his performance with Leo at the dais.

Documentary Short: The Blood of Yingzhou District? CORRECT, but was it really worth it?
Film Editing: Blood Diamond? Why didn't I even notice THE DEPARTED in many of these categories. I would have picked them as sweeps if I hadn't blown through the minor ones
Foreign Language Film: Since after "A Beautiful Life" I have taken stabs in the dark at this category: Water? Was wrong, don't care about this one either
Makeup: I can't stand the flagrant anti-semite, but he's gonna walk away with some Nazi gold... APOCALYPTO is going to get it or else Mel is going to ask the academy "You're Jewish, right?"... A blessing and a curse, Mel doesn't get it because the Jews in Hollywood have something against him...

Original Score: I'm assuming THE QUEEN had a good original score. What's with this BABEL?

Original Song. There is a 3/5 chance that something from Dreamgirls will win, so I am giving my vote to "Listen" from the DREAMGIRLS soundtrack INCONVENIENT TRUTH? You're kidding me!

BEST PICTURE: Borat and Dreamgirls got snubbed! Yet this makes my choice much easier. Letters from Iwo Jima was great, but I just noticed The Departed on my scorecard. What to choose... I just watched the Departed a few days ago for the first time. Iwo Jima and Departed are bloody brilliant and just plain bloody, but the star-studded cast of Departed puts it over the top. THE DEPARTED gets top honors this year. We DEPART with a win.

Short Film Animated: Don't care: Maestro? Was wrong, still don't care

Short Film Live Action:

West Bank Story is a musical comedy about David, an Israeli
soldier, and Fatima, a Palestinian fast food cashier - an unlikely couple who fall in love amidst the animosity of their families' dueling falafel stands in the West Bank.
Tensions mount when the Kosher King's new pastry machine juts onto
Hummus Hut property. The Palestinians ruin the machine and the Israelis
respond by building a wall between the two eating establishments.
The couple professes their love for each other, triggering a chain of events that
destroys both restaurants and forces all to find common ground in an effort to
rebuild, planting a seed of hope.

How could you NOT vote for that. WEST BANK STORY for the sheer Israeliness of the plot! CORRECT! Maybe there is hope for peace yet.

Sound Editing, Visual Effects: PIRATES II broke all the records. It needs Oscar gold from SOME category... ' SOUND: Well at least LETTERS won something VISUAL: CORRECT!

Sound Mixing: I'm giving this to DREAMGIRLS; More appropriate for this category for a musical CORRECTAMUNDO!

Screenplay--Adapted : I'm giving this to BORAT because how could you refuse him, he's so cute, let's expose our racist tendencies to this slav with the camera! Well, THE DEPARTED, I like. You like? How did I not notice this. I would have totally chosen it had I noticed

Screenplay Original: Close it up with another golden-boy for LETTERS. Little Miss Sunshine. My Mom TiVoed this on HBO for me and I am yet to go to their house to watch it

That's the show

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