One of the fun angry rants of our God. In this portion a lot happens, enough to comprise three books. As I mentioned last year, this portion contains two inverted nuns (not upside-down brides of christ, but the hebrew letter) between which is contained passages that we include at the beginning and end of our Torah service, both the words and the inverted nuns literally are bookends as many consider these two verses to be a completely seperate book of the Torah, or perhaps misplaced.
What I will discuss today happens at the very beginning of the Third Book of Numbers, a very interesting and disturbing account of people longing for meat. This account happens to be one of the rare strikes against meat-eating (my somewhat humorous halachic polemic against vegetarians will be transcribed at some point) in the Hebrew scriptures. The people tire of manna, they long for the cucumbers, melons, leeks, the fleshpots of Egypt they partook from "for free" (Yeah, kinda forgot that you were slaves, right?) At the initiation of the asafsuf, the riff-raff (etymologically, by the way, words like asafsuf are interesting as they have the same type of word extant in English: riff being the same as raff, asaf being the same as suf, anyway it means a collected collection or something like that, the bottom of the barrel, scum of the earth, the Egyptians and other non-Jews that decided to follow the Jews out of Egypt, known in Exodus 12 as eruv rav, a mixed multitude (and for some reason is a pun referring to students in Rabbinical school, "the eve of becoming a rabbi") but were insincere in becoming righteous strangers that dwelt among them), these incited the people to reminisce about the food in Egypt.
Memory is an interesting thing, it is not a recording of actual event, but is somewhat romanticized. Perhaps events in your childhood weren't as vivid as you remember them, but wistfulness takes over and suddenly you want to relive them. This seems to be what happened here. They had crappy lives in Egypt! They probably didn't get to sit around the fleshpots of Egypt. What do we eat in memory of our time spent in Egypt? We eat bitter herbs, not cholent! The Egyptians basically worshipped all of their livestock. When would we have had meat until that hallowed eve in which we took their g0at/lamb-god and made it the centerpiece of our Passover seder?
I also find it a little peculiar that they are lacking meat in the desert. Remember Exodus 16:8, 12-13 in which they previously complained about not having food and God guaranteed them manna during the day and meat, specifically quail, at night? And once again they test God. This time God says that they will have meat. Not just one day, or two days, or seven days, but thirty days, until it comes out of their nostrils. And yet some of the people eat and they are destroyed by plague.
Within this story is the calling of the seventy elders to commute with God, six from each of the twelve tribes. For those of you good with math, 6x12 does not equal 70 but 72. Therefore two men, Eldad and Medad were excluded from the group. Yet they too were possessed with the word of God and prophesied in the camp. Joshua, who was the sgan Moshe (Moses-pro-tem) while he wasn't there freaked out and brought them to Moses who said that they too were prophets and that there should be more people like them.
That's it for this portion for now. Perhaps next year we will discuss Miriam's leprosy.
Shabbat Shalom.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Naso ("mmm... that's good adultery...")
-random Apu quote from the Simpsons
Naso is the longest parasha in the entire Torah. It says so in the very first commentary on the portion in the Etz Chaim chumash. Though it is the longest portion, I have the shortest time so I will continue it, bli neder, after Shabbat.
Last year I discussed the threefold priestly benediction. This year, as promised, I will discuss the Sotah.
The Torah takes a hardline stance against adultery. You Ten Commandment buffs will note that it made the top ten at #7. The penalty is harsh for all parties involved. We arrive at one of the strangest rituals in the Torah. A potion is brewed for a woman suspected by her husband of adultery, spring water which contains the ink of a written formula, a curse, that was inscribed on parchment. It is possibly the only occasion God's name is ever erased (more on this later), as it is rubbed off into the phial of stupefaction (probably not a phial of stupefaction, but I want to use that phrase whenever I can), it is rubbed off into the vial and she is forced to drink it. If she is guilty of adultery, horrible things happen to her (complicated Hebrew involving distended bowels and sagging thighs, possibly meaning miscarriage) and if she is not, then nothing will happen and the husband, in punishment for falsely accusing her, will never be able to divorce her.
The Rabbis later comment on this account saying that even if she had committed adultery, the hocus pocus never worked (whereas so much of the other Temple magic did work, like the red fillet turning white on Yom Kippur). The reason is that God was more concerned with the holiness and stability of marriage than severe retribution. God allowed His Name to be erased for the sake of family togetherness. Women who actually committed adultery would realize they had been given another chance and would be straight arrows from now on and husbands would think their wives were innocent, thus while living a lie they would never separate, under penalty of catapult.
Okay, that last part was from the Simpsons too.
Shabizzle,
Matt
PS (Post-Shabbos): I was sitting next to my Rabbi in davening on Shabbos morning (we were running services) and he noticed that the story of the events leading up to the birth of Samson should actually belong to an absent story of the birth of Saul and that the birth of Samuel belongs here in the story of Samson. Check out the language of the births themselves compared to the preceding story as well as what the reasons for their names (Samson because God heard my prayer or something? That is Shmuel not Shimshon!) Anyway, off too bed, but checkitout! checkitout!
Naso is the longest parasha in the entire Torah. It says so in the very first commentary on the portion in the Etz Chaim chumash. Though it is the longest portion, I have the shortest time so I will continue it, bli neder, after Shabbat.
Last year I discussed the threefold priestly benediction. This year, as promised, I will discuss the Sotah.
The Torah takes a hardline stance against adultery. You Ten Commandment buffs will note that it made the top ten at #7. The penalty is harsh for all parties involved. We arrive at one of the strangest rituals in the Torah. A potion is brewed for a woman suspected by her husband of adultery, spring water which contains the ink of a written formula, a curse, that was inscribed on parchment. It is possibly the only occasion God's name is ever erased (more on this later), as it is rubbed off into the phial of stupefaction (probably not a phial of stupefaction, but I want to use that phrase whenever I can), it is rubbed off into the vial and she is forced to drink it. If she is guilty of adultery, horrible things happen to her (complicated Hebrew involving distended bowels and sagging thighs, possibly meaning miscarriage) and if she is not, then nothing will happen and the husband, in punishment for falsely accusing her, will never be able to divorce her.
The Rabbis later comment on this account saying that even if she had committed adultery, the hocus pocus never worked (whereas so much of the other Temple magic did work, like the red fillet turning white on Yom Kippur). The reason is that God was more concerned with the holiness and stability of marriage than severe retribution. God allowed His Name to be erased for the sake of family togetherness. Women who actually committed adultery would realize they had been given another chance and would be straight arrows from now on and husbands would think their wives were innocent, thus while living a lie they would never separate, under penalty of catapult.
Okay, that last part was from the Simpsons too.
Shabizzle,
Matt
PS (Post-Shabbos): I was sitting next to my Rabbi in davening on Shabbos morning (we were running services) and he noticed that the story of the events leading up to the birth of Samson should actually belong to an absent story of the birth of Saul and that the birth of Samuel belongs here in the story of Samson. Check out the language of the births themselves compared to the preceding story as well as what the reasons for their names (Samson because God heard my prayer or something? That is Shmuel not Shimshon!) Anyway, off too bed, but checkitout! checkitout!
Summer of Sequels
Note: this article is a little dated, considering I started it a couple of weeks ago and only am recording it now. It is also a work in progress and I may update it.
With three days in a row of triple digit temperatures (though it has been recently replaced by an early June Gloom), it is time for the coolest place on earth, where you can get $5.99/hour air conditioning and a small popcorn for roughly the same price. I am, of course, referring to the sizzling summer movie season. I believe this to be the biggest movie season in decades; three to be exact. 30 years ago today, on May 25, 1977, moviegoers were given A New Hope as the original Star Wars movie was released. Then George Lucas decided to revive his trilogy with a prequel trilogy and screwed everything up. But this is the summer of good sequels...
I have to admit that I am a pretty positive reviewer and my grades skew toward the light side. There was only one movie I actually hated this summer, a movie with Chris Rock, something like "I Love My Wife" or something like that. Don't ask...
The summer started with Spiderman 3. I enjoyed it, maybe not as much as the first two, but I liked it. I fully expected it to beat the $150 million box office open. However, I am confident that it will be shattered, once again by...
Pirates of the Carribean. I predict $162 million opening this weekend, up $1 million from my estimate before I saw the movie last night, in an unending tug-of-war between the webswinger and the swashbuckler in box office openers. This has been, thusfar, the best movie I've seen this year. It leaves room for a sequel though they've closed most of the holes in the previous movie
And then we arrive at the third in my series of third movies of trilogies (3-3-3, which is three numbers, which makes four in a series of three): Shrek the Third. I have to say I was disappointed. It wasn't as fun as the previous two. Of the Part 3 movies I've reviewed, this has to rank with the third Godfather (ie: a decent movie but far far behind the significance of the previous two movies). SKG, Please don't release a fourth Shrek... That's as scary as the proposal to make THREE more Terminator movies, the original trilogy which also suffers from Godfather Syndrome.
I saw a sneak preview a month or so back of Knocked Up. This was one of the funniest and one of the sickest movies I've seen in a long time. This is from the creators of 40-Year-Old Virgin and is even better and raunchier than its predecessor.
I also took my cousins to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force. That was hilarious in a demented way, to the extreme. You will remember the advertisement campaign that got the city of Boston on high alert for terrorism? That was for this movie! If you don't watch the show then you probably shouldn't see the film. And if you pirate the film, well, then your child-making possibilities are going to be limited according to the film, so be careful.
Alright those are some of the movies I've seen so far. Now for the previews. The other movies I really am looking forward to, obviously are
The Simpsons Movie. I've waited almost my entire life for something like this. This will probably surpass the "Never Jumped" vote on JumpTheShark.com, but you never know. Remember that the South Park movie was very beneficial for the show and remains a cult classic. Speaking of which, I fear the plot of the Simpsons movie runs close to the South Park movie's plot. Nukes being launched due to something that has to do with the main characters? Sounds familiar. However, I do not want to know the plot because I'm sure whatever it is, I will laugh. I really like their "posters" in movie theater lobbies, which consist of a simpsons couch gag with a space for you to sit (though the Galleria has recently put up a sign asking you not to sit and why would anyone be carrying a camera in a movie theater. Instant trouble...)
I already know the plot, however, for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I will not get too far into this because I will, sometime in the next 7 weeks, post an entry about my theories on the final Potter book. I feel something will come out of this movie, something we have read but never visualized, that will give us an important clue for the seventh book. A picture is worth a thousand words. According to Wikipedia, HP5 is 255,000 words long. That means the movie is worth 255 million words. That is before the director makes cuts left and right, leaving it worth around 100 million words. I realize they have to cut things, and having listened to PotterCast and MuggleCast podcasts for the past year I know that they cut things that I would have loved to see, like "Weasley is Our King". Plus they are assigning more roles to Cho Chang. Enough spoiler. Go see it and then read the final book.
That's it for now. Shabbat Shalom.
With three days in a row of triple digit temperatures (though it has been recently replaced by an early June Gloom), it is time for the coolest place on earth, where you can get $5.99/hour air conditioning and a small popcorn for roughly the same price. I am, of course, referring to the sizzling summer movie season. I believe this to be the biggest movie season in decades; three to be exact. 30 years ago today, on May 25, 1977, moviegoers were given A New Hope as the original Star Wars movie was released. Then George Lucas decided to revive his trilogy with a prequel trilogy and screwed everything up. But this is the summer of good sequels...
I have to admit that I am a pretty positive reviewer and my grades skew toward the light side. There was only one movie I actually hated this summer, a movie with Chris Rock, something like "I Love My Wife" or something like that. Don't ask...
The summer started with Spiderman 3. I enjoyed it, maybe not as much as the first two, but I liked it. I fully expected it to beat the $150 million box office open. However, I am confident that it will be shattered, once again by...
Pirates of the Carribean. I predict $162 million opening this weekend, up $1 million from my estimate before I saw the movie last night, in an unending tug-of-war between the webswinger and the swashbuckler in box office openers. This has been, thusfar, the best movie I've seen this year. It leaves room for a sequel though they've closed most of the holes in the previous movie
And then we arrive at the third in my series of third movies of trilogies (3-3-3, which is three numbers, which makes four in a series of three): Shrek the Third. I have to say I was disappointed. It wasn't as fun as the previous two. Of the Part 3 movies I've reviewed, this has to rank with the third Godfather (ie: a decent movie but far far behind the significance of the previous two movies). SKG, Please don't release a fourth Shrek... That's as scary as the proposal to make THREE more Terminator movies, the original trilogy which also suffers from Godfather Syndrome.
I saw a sneak preview a month or so back of Knocked Up. This was one of the funniest and one of the sickest movies I've seen in a long time. This is from the creators of 40-Year-Old Virgin and is even better and raunchier than its predecessor.
I also took my cousins to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force. That was hilarious in a demented way, to the extreme. You will remember the advertisement campaign that got the city of Boston on high alert for terrorism? That was for this movie! If you don't watch the show then you probably shouldn't see the film. And if you pirate the film, well, then your child-making possibilities are going to be limited according to the film, so be careful.
Alright those are some of the movies I've seen so far. Now for the previews. The other movies I really am looking forward to, obviously are
The Simpsons Movie. I've waited almost my entire life for something like this. This will probably surpass the "Never Jumped" vote on JumpTheShark.com, but you never know. Remember that the South Park movie was very beneficial for the show and remains a cult classic. Speaking of which, I fear the plot of the Simpsons movie runs close to the South Park movie's plot. Nukes being launched due to something that has to do with the main characters? Sounds familiar. However, I do not want to know the plot because I'm sure whatever it is, I will laugh. I really like their "posters" in movie theater lobbies, which consist of a simpsons couch gag with a space for you to sit (though the Galleria has recently put up a sign asking you not to sit and why would anyone be carrying a camera in a movie theater. Instant trouble...)
I already know the plot, however, for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I will not get too far into this because I will, sometime in the next 7 weeks, post an entry about my theories on the final Potter book. I feel something will come out of this movie, something we have read but never visualized, that will give us an important clue for the seventh book. A picture is worth a thousand words. According to Wikipedia, HP5 is 255,000 words long. That means the movie is worth 255 million words. That is before the director makes cuts left and right, leaving it worth around 100 million words. I realize they have to cut things, and having listened to PotterCast and MuggleCast podcasts for the past year I know that they cut things that I would have loved to see, like "Weasley is Our King". Plus they are assigning more roles to Cho Chang. Enough spoiler. Go see it and then read the final book.
That's it for now. Shabbat Shalom.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Shavuot ("first and last")
Finally we arrive at Sinai! We count 49 days (should be 50 according to the Torah but who's counting? Oh right, us...) from Passover and arrive at the foot of the mountain where we will receive the Torah. Some really cool supernatural stuff happens and we have the laws. This is probably the most little known of Jewish holidays, major or minor, but certainly one of the most important.
I have very little time so that means no analysis of the Chashmal/Merkava, the mysterious Chariot/Throne of God which kills those who successfully figure out what it looks like (see Babylonian Talmud Chagiga) found in a Haftarah that the Rabbis said is never allowed to be used as a Haftarah. Instead I will quickly review the traditions of the day. There is an acronym to remember the traditions: אחרית, meaning "the end of time". Shavuot is a very apocalyptic holiday and therefore this acronym is appropriate. Conversely, the Torah is also known as the first of things, as is God. the first word of the Torah is "In the Beginning" and consider the following from the first letter of the acronym:
א Akdamut/Akdomos Milin is an Aramaic poem that speaks in the most beautiful of language. Every line of the 90 verse poem ends in ותא
חChalav (Dairy): Blintzes, cheesecake, need I say more? Maybe: there is the tradition that kashrut took effect when the Torah was given and the Israelites didn't have the time to properly prepare meat in time for their first meal so they had dairy (didn't they have manna?) AlsoI have very little time so that means no analysis of the Chashmal/Merkava, the mysterious Chariot/Throne of God which kills those who successfully figure out what it looks like (see Babylonian Talmud Chagiga) found in a Haftarah that the Rabbis said is never allowed to be used as a Haftarah. Instead I will quickly review the traditions of the day. There is an acronym to remember the traditions: אחרית
א Akdamut/Akdomos Milin is an Aramaic poem that speaks in the most beautiful of language. Every line of the 90 verse poem ends in ותא
ר Rut(h), Book of: the megillah chanted on Shavuot, tells the story of the first righteous convert in history (you know, besides Abraham and Yitro...) and great grandmother of King David (who was born and died on Shavuot that fell on Shabbatot 70 years apart)
י Yerek (greenery). The Sinai is often mistakenly called a desert. It was really a wilderness (or more accurately, steppes) and things did grow there. Sinai was noted for blooming excessively when the Torah was given. Therefore we turn our synagogues into forests.
ת Torah: duh.
Sorry, that's all the time I have for this one. Gut Yontif!
י Yerek (greenery). The Sinai is often mistakenly called a desert. It was really a wilderness (or more accurately, steppes) and things did grow there. Sinai was noted for blooming excessively when the Torah was given. Therefore we turn our synagogues into forests.
ת Torah: duh.
Sorry, that's all the time I have for this one. Gut Yontif!
Monday, May 21, 2007
Roar, Zion, Roar!
Firstly, thank you everyone for the kind birthday greetings thus far.
I was handed a napkin at breakfast today by a fellow B'nai Mitzvah tutor and fellow Columbia Alumnus who happened to be in the Columbia University Marching Band back in the sixties. Inscribed on the napkin were controversial alternate lyrics to our alma mater's fight song that was previously sung by aformentioned scatter band in the aforementioned era. This is not the version about "a whore named Sally"; no, this is the wholesome era when engineers were able to study for their Orgo finals in peace. The vast majority of the bandies were Jews who were ardent Zionists which would explain the lyrics. For the first time on the internet (at least anything that can be googled) I present the lyrics of Roar Zion Roar:
(to the tune of Roar, Lion, Roar! (these lyrics begin in the middle, during the chorus), the Columbia University Fight Song)
Roar, Zion, Roar!
And wake the echoes of the Jordan Valley
Fight on for Israel ever more
While the sons of all the prophets rally round
Jerusalem!
Jerusalem!
Shouting her name (in Yiddish!)
Roar, Zion, Roar --
And show the Arabs what a God is for!
Okay, so they still knew how to piss people off without an Orgo Night. By the way, I just saw a blog entry which puts Columbia's fight song as fifth best in the nation. I've always liked our fight song.
I was handed a napkin at breakfast today by a fellow B'nai Mitzvah tutor and fellow Columbia Alumnus who happened to be in the Columbia University Marching Band back in the sixties. Inscribed on the napkin were controversial alternate lyrics to our alma mater's fight song that was previously sung by aformentioned scatter band in the aforementioned era. This is not the version about "a whore named Sally"; no, this is the wholesome era when engineers were able to study for their Orgo finals in peace. The vast majority of the bandies were Jews who were ardent Zionists which would explain the lyrics. For the first time on the internet (at least anything that can be googled) I present the lyrics of Roar Zion Roar:
(to the tune of Roar, Lion, Roar! (these lyrics begin in the middle, during the chorus), the Columbia University Fight Song)
Roar, Zion, Roar!
And wake the echoes of the Jordan Valley
Fight on for Israel ever more
While the sons of all the prophets rally round
Jerusalem!
Jerusalem!
Shouting her name (in Yiddish!)
Roar, Zion, Roar --
And show the Arabs what a God is for!
Okay, so they still knew how to piss people off without an Orgo Night. By the way, I just saw a blog entry which puts Columbia's fight song as fifth best in the nation. I've always liked our fight song.
Friday, May 18, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Bamidbar (Numbers!)
Today's Hebrew date, 29 Iyar, is the 11th anniversary of My Bar Mitzvah (tomorrow is the Civil date, May 18), and this Shabbos will be the first time since my Bar Mitzvah that I will layn my Bar Mitzvah Torah reading. I'm not going to study because I still have it memorized...
I have to admit that this Torah portion is not the most fun for which to have to write a Bar Mitzvah speech. The layning is not too difficult: the trope and almost all of the words, phrases, and clauses repeat themselves, a frequent trend in the Book of Numbers, the only major changes from verse to verse being names and numbers. But this portion is boring to speak about and when Bnei Mitzvah at my shul are given the option of speaking about either the Torah Portion or any of a selection of mishnayot from Pirkei Avot (If I were Bar Mitzvahed today I would pick a smartass one like "don't talk excessively to women lest you inherit hell"), they opt for "the sponge, the sieve, the funnel" and other kitchen utensils meant to teach us an ethical lesson (I'm so sick of that particular mishnah... everyone chooses it...)
At my Bar Mitzvah, I did speak about my Torah Portion, that there had to be a specialized way of counting to separate us from cattle (lehavdil; in fact, if I were to reprise the path I took in this particular speech, I would mention the methods we use to "count" a minyan, ten word phrases such as "Hoshiya et Amecha", HaMotzi, or my personal favorite from my High School days at Milken, the ten plagues).
I also spoke about my special Haftarah, Machar Chodesh (it fell on 29 Iyar 5756, the day before the new month), talking about the greatest and purest friendship of all time, that of Crown Prince Jonathan and a shepherd/harpist/giant-slayer named David (though my reading of a couple of endearing gestures (maybe that's how they rolled in Hebron 3000 years ago...) as well as the newly appointing (but not widely recognized) King David's lament of Jonathan and his father King Saul's deaths at the beginning of II Samuel might indicate that they were more than just friends ("Your love is better than the love of women"‽ C'mon!)
However, this year we read the "normal" haftarah ("normal" meaning less often than we read the special haftarah as almost every year since my Bar Mitzvah Bamidbar has fallen on 29 Iyar, Machar Chodesh), the beginning of Hosea. Basic plot: God tells you to marry a prostitute and have children with her, giving them horrible names like "Not-My-Nation" (well, at least He didn't command him to name him Swift-Booty-Speedy-Prey)
, the prostitute leaves you, returning to her life of indentured whoritude (is that even a word? Well it is now!) , you pay through the nose of to get her back and she is finally grateful to you, all to serve as an allegory for the everlasting love God has for the harlot Israel. I challenge you to write a Bar Mitzvah-appropriate Dvar Torah on this Haftarah. Ready, go!
Chodesh Tov, Shabbat Shalom.
Matt
I have to admit that this Torah portion is not the most fun for which to have to write a Bar Mitzvah speech. The layning is not too difficult: the trope and almost all of the words, phrases, and clauses repeat themselves, a frequent trend in the Book of Numbers, the only major changes from verse to verse being names and numbers. But this portion is boring to speak about and when Bnei Mitzvah at my shul are given the option of speaking about either the Torah Portion or any of a selection of mishnayot from Pirkei Avot (If I were Bar Mitzvahed today I would pick a smartass one like "don't talk excessively to women lest you inherit hell"), they opt for "the sponge, the sieve, the funnel" and other kitchen utensils meant to teach us an ethical lesson (I'm so sick of that particular mishnah... everyone chooses it...)
At my Bar Mitzvah, I did speak about my Torah Portion, that there had to be a specialized way of counting to separate us from cattle (lehavdil; in fact, if I were to reprise the path I took in this particular speech, I would mention the methods we use to "count" a minyan, ten word phrases such as "Hoshiya et Amecha", HaMotzi, or my personal favorite from my High School days at Milken, the ten plagues).
I also spoke about my special Haftarah, Machar Chodesh (it fell on 29 Iyar 5756, the day before the new month), talking about the greatest and purest friendship of all time, that of Crown Prince Jonathan and a shepherd/harpist/giant-slayer named David (though my reading of a couple of endearing gestures (maybe that's how they rolled in Hebron 3000 years ago...) as well as the newly appointing (but not widely recognized) King David's lament of Jonathan and his father King Saul's deaths at the beginning of II Samuel might indicate that they were more than just friends ("Your love is better than the love of women"‽ C'mon!)
However, this year we read the "normal" haftarah ("normal" meaning less often than we read the special haftarah as almost every year since my Bar Mitzvah Bamidbar has fallen on 29 Iyar, Machar Chodesh), the beginning of Hosea. Basic plot: God tells you to marry a prostitute and have children with her, giving them horrible names like "Not-My-Nation" (well, at least He didn't command him to name him Swift-Booty-Speedy-Prey)
, the prostitute leaves you, returning to her life of indentured whoritude (is that even a word? Well it is now!) , you pay through the nose of to get her back and she is finally grateful to you, all to serve as an allegory for the everlasting love God has for the harlot Israel. I challenge you to write a Bar Mitzvah-appropriate Dvar Torah on this Haftarah. Ready, go!
Chodesh Tov, Shabbat Shalom.
Matt
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Jerusalem Embassy Act
In honor of the fortieth anniversary of our liberation and reunification of our eternal capital, Jerusalem, in a battle that took two days to accomplish in a major war that lasted only six days, after a gap of about 1,900 years, I would like to mention something that has been bugging me. There is rampant anti-Semitism that does not allow Jerusalem to be recognized as the eternal united capital of Israel and the Jewish people. While the Palestinians and their lackeys are blowing themselves up and murdering innocent civilians, the world has it in for the Jews who have supported the rights of all (which is why we haven't knocked down anything on our Temple Mount as we respect other cultures). However many appeasements we make, it is not good enough. The specific thing that is bugging me is that there are few or no nations that recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. Every country has their embassy in Tel Aviv since Costa Rica and El Salvador moved from Jerusalem a couple of months ago. The UN is anti-Semitic as is Jimmy Carter (sorry, had to throw that one in there.
About 12 years ago the United States congress voted to relocate the embassy back to Jerusalem, in what is known as the Jerusalem Embassy Act. The act explicitly declares Jerusalem to be the capital of Israel and demands that the embassy be moved to Jerusalem no later than 1999. The penalty for not doing this (unless the president signs a postponement waiver every six months) is severe, as seen in Section § 3.3.b
For those who don't want to actually read the legalese, there is brief synopsis of the law that can be found here.
About 12 years ago the United States congress voted to relocate the embassy back to Jerusalem, in what is known as the Jerusalem Embassy Act. The act explicitly declares Jerusalem to be the capital of Israel and demands that the embassy be moved to Jerusalem no later than 1999. The penalty for not doing this (unless the president signs a postponement waiver every six months) is severe, as seen in Section § 3.3.b
Not more than 50 percent of the funds appropriated to the Department of State for fiscal year 1999 for "Acquisition and Maintenance of Buildings Abroad" may be obligated until the Secretary of State determines and reports to Congress that the United States Embassy in Jerusalem has officially opened.Presidents Clinton and Bush II have postponed this every single time. I talked to my congressman about this and he said that his top priority is Iran but that this is important too. Let's see what happens, but it's probably going to be just a whole bunch more years of red tape. Sigh...
For those who don't want to actually read the legalese, there is brief synopsis of the law that can be found here.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Behar/Bechukotai (fallow fields were our idea)
Firstly, one of my posts, my Dvar Torah for Rosh Hashannah (The Chosen Jew, The Chosen You) has been voted as a FINALIST in the JIBAwards
. Please vote for it here. Voting is through Wednesday at 7PM PDT. Thanks.
Quickly, once again...
Back in Medieval times people would leave a portion of their field fallow on a rotation schedule.
The beginning of this week's double portion of Behar and Bechukotai make a similar request: that we observe a Sabbatical Year, a Shemita. In the serfdoms of the Middle Ages they realized that the Jewish practice of remission would be agriculturally beneficial.
It is a common misconception that one is not allowed to make use of the produce during the seventh year. If that were true our agrarian ancestors would have starved to death; rather, the field and the trees are free-for-all and landowners are not allowed to financially benefit from what grows during this year but may eat it themselves and give some away. This is the case in the Land of Israel to this day. I had a professor at Pardes who would hang up a sign during the Sabbatical year in his front yard saying something like "please come in and take from my tree". The Shemittah year is this coming year, 5768 and only pertains to areas within the biblical land of Israel (anywhere where they celebrate only one day of Yom Tov)
I won't discuss it because it requires a lot of preparation, but I suggest you check out an article on remission of debts that also occurs in the Shemittah year; particularly the rabbinic loophole/legal fiction known as the Prozbul. Hmm, there doesn't seem to be a Wikipedia article that even contains the word Prozbul... Well, that has to change. Perhaps I will take care of it after Shabbos. Eh, just google it for now.
Then there is the Yovel, the Jubilee Year, the 50th year, after 7 counts of seven years (sound familiar? Sefirat HaOmer has the same kind of counting system!) in which we "proclaim liberty throughout the land, unto all the inhabitants thereof" (Leviticus 25:10). Have you seen this phrase before? If you've ever been to the most famous landmark in the state of Pennsylvania (or a replica being approached by a dragon in Jerusalem), you have. It is inscribed on the Liberty Bell. America uses a bell, Jews use a shofar. The shofar is used to announce the beginning of the Jubilee on Yom Kippur. Let all slaves be freed, for nobody deserves a life of servitude. Unlike Shemita, Yovel is not observed in Israel today, not until, according to some, most of the Jews of the world return to Israel.
Shabbat Shalom and Chazak Chazak V'Nitchazek.
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Quickly, once again...
Back in Medieval times people would leave a portion of their field fallow on a rotation schedule.
The beginning of this week's double portion of Behar and Bechukotai make a similar request: that we observe a Sabbatical Year, a Shemita. In the serfdoms of the Middle Ages they realized that the Jewish practice of remission would be agriculturally beneficial.
It is a common misconception that one is not allowed to make use of the produce during the seventh year. If that were true our agrarian ancestors would have starved to death; rather, the field and the trees are free-for-all and landowners are not allowed to financially benefit from what grows during this year but may eat it themselves and give some away. This is the case in the Land of Israel to this day. I had a professor at Pardes who would hang up a sign during the Sabbatical year in his front yard saying something like "please come in and take from my tree". The Shemittah year is this coming year, 5768 and only pertains to areas within the biblical land of Israel (anywhere where they celebrate only one day of Yom Tov)
I won't discuss it because it requires a lot of preparation, but I suggest you check out an article on remission of debts that also occurs in the Shemittah year; particularly the rabbinic loophole/legal fiction known as the Prozbul. Hmm, there doesn't seem to be a Wikipedia article that even contains the word Prozbul... Well, that has to change. Perhaps I will take care of it after Shabbos. Eh, just google it for now.
Then there is the Yovel, the Jubilee Year, the 50th year, after 7 counts of seven years (sound familiar? Sefirat HaOmer has the same kind of counting system!) in which we "proclaim liberty throughout the land, unto all the inhabitants thereof" (Leviticus 25:10). Have you seen this phrase before? If you've ever been to the most famous landmark in the state of Pennsylvania (or a replica being approached by a dragon in Jerusalem), you have. It is inscribed on the Liberty Bell. America uses a bell, Jews use a shofar. The shofar is used to announce the beginning of the Jubilee on Yom Kippur. Let all slaves be freed, for nobody deserves a life of servitude. Unlike Shemita, Yovel is not observed in Israel today, not until, according to some, most of the Jews of the world return to Israel.
Shabbat Shalom and Chazak Chazak V'Nitchazek.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Entourage takes on Yom Kippur
Emily Gold: You want me to lie‽Thus was super-agent Ari Gold forgiven by God on last night's episode of Entourage, "Return of the King". This is over-the-top perversion of the actual meaning of Yom Kippur and yet it is a belief of many that the forgiveness of Yom Kippur is automatic.
Ari Gold: That is the beauty of Yom Kippur, as long as you apologize before sundown it doesn't matter what you do!
There has been a recent trend in television, particularly on HBO, to lampoon and trivialize Judaism's most sacred traditions, such as Yom Kippur services and the Passover Seder... And I couldn't be happier. It happens that it has come in vogue to use Jewish humor, usually in the form of the "self-hating" Jew. It indicates that Jews and Judaism have become a hallmark in the highest indication of societal acceptance: the American sitcom.
Take, for example, the aforementioned episode of Entourage. An Orthodox Jew complains of the "Half-Church Reform Temple down the street" and the non-Jewish main characters drink before ten AM because today is a holiday. "Which holiday?" "Yom Kippur!". The second season episode, "The Bat Mitzvah" portrayed a Jewish party that was "too much bar and not enough mitzvah"
My favorite uses of jokes at the expense of the Chosen People include Seinfeld-creator Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm,. This is especially juicy due to the fact that he is married to a WASP and his wife's family fails to understand Judaism (though Larry perverts his own religion as well). Episodes such as "The Seder", "The Survivor", and many others expose Judaism at its most ridiculous.
The most gratuitous and incredibly obscure Hebrew-humor comes from the Comedy Central cartoon/"reality show", Drawn Together. It contained in-Jokes that were too inside for most Jews to even get. Wooldoor Sockbat (who turns out to not even be Jewish) kills himself and his epitaph is given as something like "5751-now", a reference to the Jewish anno-mundi calendar. Captain Hero calls his mother Eema, the Hebrew word (actually a lend-word from Aramaic, but most Jews don't know that) for mother, properly pluralizing it as Eemahot. Jewish jokes abound; you'll probably find at least a dozen per episode.
How can I forget Borat, created by religious Jew Sacha Baron Cohen who exposes the anti-semitic sentiments of ignoramuses in both Great Britain and the United States.
Family Guy takes a few harsh and perhaps tasteless jabs at Judaism: in its pilot it crosses the line by having a chip-eating Peter Griffin exposing the hiding place of Anne Frank AND forces a religious Jewish High School student to "take off that damn hat" when he replaces the yarmulke on his head. "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein" is an episode previously banned from television, a notorious act by FOX. This, however, seems to be the one show that doesn't really do its research and the dreydl and menorah is riddled with errors. Very funny though...
And then there is The Simpsons ("I know Weinstein's parents were upset, Superintendent, but I was sure it was a phony excuse. I mean, it sounds so made up: 'Yahm Kip-Pur'.") . My friends and I in college had a game where we would try to find at least one Jewish Joke in each episode as it first aired. There were a few episodes that expose the bottom line: that humor and Judaism go hand-in-hand. In "Like Father, Like Clown" Bart makes numerous attempts to reconcile a hard-line rabbinic father with his estranged clown of a son Krusty the Clown (a fuller account can be found in "The Simpsons Talmud" made by apparently fellow List alum Noah Gradowsky). Bart paraphrases Taanit 22a and says that the Messianic Redemption will be brought through the jesters. I believe it to be a method of our survival that we have also been known as the most self-depreciating people on the planet. Without humor there could be no joy, something deficient since the destruction of the Temple, and therefore this reference to the Messianic age being brought on by a clown is appropriate.
May it come soon and may it be very funny.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Emor ("It's pronounced Eh? More!")
(the tagline courtesy of a conversation I had)
Very quickly as I must run minyan in a few minutes...
This week we read of the major holidays of the Jewish people. Appropriately enough we have the source for counting the [H]omer the eve of our celebration of Lag B'Omer. We count up from the second day of Passover (this might not make sense for us in the diaspora, but in Israel where they only observe the first day of Passover as a Yom Tov, a holiday of complete abstention from work, the second day is considered the first work day of the barley harvest season) to the holiday of Shavuot 50 days later. We count up, not down. This evokes shades of the famous argument of Hillel and Shammai over how to light chanukkah candles. Shammai says we go from 8 candles on the first night to 1 on the last night. Hillel, conversely, says 1 to 8. Naturally, Hillel wins. He always wins (to which I have coined an adage: "Poor Shammai, he's the Goofus to Hillel's Gallant."). The reasoning is that we prefer to increase in holiness. Though not mentioned in the passage in Emor, the Jews did increase in holiness the year before this directive was given during the period between the Exodus from Egypt on Passover to the Revelation of the Torah at Sinai on Shavuot. It is a symbol of purity and holiness. We prepare for all of our major holidays in some way. Sukkot we prepare for by building huts, Passover we clean and kasher our homes (or synagogues in my case), and Shavuot we commit ourselves to 49 days of hagbalah, of preparation of holiness to receive the Word of God from God God'sself (sorry, trying to create God pronouns...)
Anyway, Shabbat Shalom and Lag B'Omer Sameach.
Matt
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
JIB Awards (please vote)
This blog is up for a number of blog awards. Unfortunately it is a popularity contest so I ask that if you enjoy my blog and my Divrei Torah, please vote for me at EACH of these links. Your response gives me an incentive to continue doing what I am doing. Each of these are for round one. Should I, B"H, become a finalist, I will post the appropriate links. So please vote for RABBINIC RAMBLING on each of these links:
Best Overall Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=102)
Best Small Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=108) If you told your friends, I might be designated a large blog...
Best Religious Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=124)
Best Torah Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=128)
Thank you and have a happy Yom Haatzmaut
Matt
Best Torah Post (http://jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=174) <--VOTE HERE. Two of my Divrei Torah are nominated. The Rosh Hashannah one looks like it has the better chance of winning.
Matt
Best Overall Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=102)
Best Small Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=108) If you told your friends, I might be designated a large blog...
Best Religious Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=124)
Best Torah Blog (http://www.jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=128)
Thank you and have a happy Yom Haatzmaut
Matt
Best Torah Post (http://jibawards.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=174) <--VOTE HERE. Two of my Divrei Torah are nominated. The Rosh Hashannah one looks like it has the better chance of winning.
Matt
Saturday, April 28, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Acharei Mot/Kedoshim (Holy!)
What does it mean to be holy? Well if you were to ask the High Priest in the first of this week's DDTorah portion, he would probably discuss the holiest of ceremonies, the Yom Kippur Avodah in which he enters the presence of the Glory of God, humbling himself before the Divine Presence of the Shechinah. Is the Kohen Gadol the only one who can be holy? No! The next torah portion, Kedoshim says that "you (plural) shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am Holy!" I posed the question to my class this week of how to be holy and they gave answers such as tzedekah, following mitzvot, studying/learning/reading the Torah. The Torah likes these examples and adds things that are intuitive, such as not stealing, lying, bearing false witness, honoring parents, basically a restatement of the Decalogue, loving your fellow as yourself ("The Golden Rule"). Some good-natured ones you might not think of, such as not putting a stumbling-block before the blind nor cursing the deaf, and being equitable to the widow, the orphan, and the poor, the landless Levite, leaving the corners and gleanings of your field for those unfortunate. And then the fun illogical ones, not mixing wool and linen (shatnez), not grafting fruits nor mixing crops in the same field (kilayim). Whatever their reason, these too are considered part of the Holiness Code.
Holiness IS achievable and your instructions are clearly given. Be a good person, a holy person. The rest, my holy friend, is just commentary.
Shabbat Shalom.
Holiness IS achievable and your instructions are clearly given. Be a good person, a holy person. The rest, my holy friend, is just commentary.
Shabbat Shalom.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Tazria/Metzora (the one about rashes and bodily functions)
I have to be quick this week.
Firstly, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the events of the past week in Virginia. We know that humanity can descend into darkness and evil. Few of us know this as firsthand as Liviu Librescu, a Holocaust survivor. He was an Israeli citizen and a professor at Virginia Tech. When the gunman was coming toward his classroom, he blocked the door with his body so his students could escape from the window, himself getting killed. On Yom HaShoah V'HaGvurah, Rememberance Day for the Holocaust and the Heroes, he was both a survivor and a heroic martyr. ZT"L.
On an entirely different note, this week we read two Torah portions about matters of the body. Circumcision will be for boys on the eighth day of life. Why the eighth day? Tradition states that Isaac was circumcised on his eighth day of life and this commandment was previously mentioned in Genesis 17:12. We should be thankful that we weren't commanded to be circumcised when Ishmael was, at age 13, or Abraham at the ripe old age of 99.
The rest of the two parshiot deal with purity and impurity. Women have certain periods... well, periods that they are considered ritually unclean and we derive the laws of Niddah. Births of boys and girls demand sacrifices for impurity (not observed today). We also have the fun laws of Tzaras, commonly mistakenly translated as leprosy. It is a disease that can affect people, clothing, and houses. There really isn't much to say on the topic, but the most famous example of the Metzora, a person afflicted with this, is Miriam, Moses' sister. She speaks ill of her sister in law, Tziporah, Moses' wife and God afflicts her with Tzaras. The word מצורע
Shabbat Shalom,
Matt
Firstly, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the events of the past week in Virginia. We know that humanity can descend into darkness and evil. Few of us know this as firsthand as Liviu Librescu, a Holocaust survivor. He was an Israeli citizen and a professor at Virginia Tech. When the gunman was coming toward his classroom, he blocked the door with his body so his students could escape from the window, himself getting killed. On Yom HaShoah V'HaGvurah, Rememberance Day for the Holocaust and the Heroes, he was both a survivor and a heroic martyr. ZT"L.
On an entirely different note, this week we read two Torah portions about matters of the body. Circumcision will be for boys on the eighth day of life. Why the eighth day? Tradition states that Isaac was circumcised on his eighth day of life and this commandment was previously mentioned in Genesis 17:12. We should be thankful that we weren't commanded to be circumcised when Ishmael was, at age 13, or Abraham at the ripe old age of 99.
The rest of the two parshiot deal with purity and impurity. Women have certain periods... well, periods that they are considered ritually unclean and we derive the laws of Niddah. Births of boys and girls demand sacrifices for impurity (not observed today). We also have the fun laws of Tzaras, commonly mistakenly translated as leprosy. It is a disease that can affect people, clothing, and houses. There really isn't much to say on the topic, but the most famous example of the Metzora, a person afflicted with this, is Miriam, Moses' sister. She speaks ill of her sister in law, Tziporah, Moses' wife and God afflicts her with Tzaras. The word מצורע
Shabbat Shalom,
Matt
Saturday, April 14, 2007
The Ninth Plague revisited
There have been rolling blackouts throughout the San Fernando Valley, at least from Hollywood to Encino (the pace of my 20 mile, 7.5 hour-long walk, round trip, yesterday). Actually over 100,000 homes were without electricity in a much greater area. From 8 PM last night to 3:45 AM this morning, Encino was in the dark (at least the north side of Ventura Blvd). It is pretty cool davening maariv by candlelight and kind of annoying going to the bathroom with a flashlight (I think the last time I did the latter was almost three years ago on a camping trip in Point Mugu; the former was during Bedikat Chametz 12 days ago. The blackouts occurred throughout the day yesterday. I know this because on my walk I noticed many of the traffic lights were out; one even went out while I was crossing. Everything by candlelight, how romantic!
So this was quite the walk I have been walking a lot over the past couple of months. I lost a significant amount of weight over the past 4.5 months, 70 lbs in the first 3.5 months. During Pesach, during a hiatus from the diet I gained 10 lbs but have since lost most of it just in the past couple of days. That's what I do with the little free time I have nowadays: I walk whenever I can.
I'm going to stop it here because I need to get ready for Shabbos. Shabbat Shalom.
So this was quite the walk I have been walking a lot over the past couple of months. I lost a significant amount of weight over the past 4.5 months, 70 lbs in the first 3.5 months. During Pesach, during a hiatus from the diet I gained 10 lbs but have since lost most of it just in the past couple of days. That's what I do with the little free time I have nowadays: I walk whenever I can.
I'm going to stop it here because I need to get ready for Shabbos. Shabbat Shalom.
Friday, April 13, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Shemini (That ain't kosher!)
This Torah portion talks about Kashrut, not just food kashrut but spiritual kashrut. In the beginning, they finish the lengthy miluim, (inauguration of the tabernacle; modern usage means Israeli Army Reserves which men are called up 45 days each year until the age of 40) in which they install Aaron and his sons as the priests, transitioning from Moses' stewardship of the sacrificial service. Here we come to what I have dubbed spiritual Kashrut and one of the most (read: only) interesting events in the Book of Leviticus, as well as one of the few narrative proses in the book.
The this is the account of the deaths of Nadav and Avihu, the two eldest sons of Aaron. The exact circumstances of their deaths are clouded in mystery, appropriate to the the cloud of incense which mists the Holy of Holies in which they died. There are many legends of what happened, (I am not equipped to look them up, due in part to the blackout of power throughout the San Fernando Valley). Many assume that they were drunk when they offered up whatever they did as the first mitzvah that God commands after their death is that a priest is not to DUI (Duchan Under the Influence... actually it just says don't go into the Tent of Meeting, so when they are performing the Avodah of the Temple), they should never appear before God drunk. This is interesting considering the importance of alcohol in Judaism.
What were Nadav and Avihu's intentions? It seems to me that they were zealously wanting to give more to God. The ceremony was concluded and the festivities were in full swing and it seems that Nadav and Avihu, probably drunk, wanted to do more for God and offered up additional sacrifices.
And then the edible kashrut forms the second act in this torah portion, continuing the theme of Havdalah. Animals were classified as pure and impure even back in the time of Noah as he loaded the ark and later sacrificed animals to God. Now animals are officially classified by name. Land mammals must have split hooves AND chew their cud to be kosher, mentioning specifically the camel and the pig as non-kosher due to their only fulfilling one of the two criteria. Almost all animals that chew their cud have split hooves and almost all animals that have split hooves chew their cud, and a Venn diagram would indicate as such, with the pig and camel families being rare exceptions excluded from the overlap. Fins and Scales are the criteria for kosher sealife, which immediately excludes shellfish and sea-mammals. Most fish are kosher but some run into special problems, such as swordfish and sturgeon which, while having fins and scales, lose their scales during their lifetime. Non-kosher birds are listed and, though not officially mentioned in the text, these birds all seem to be birds of prey. And then we come to the most mysterious category: insects. Certain grasshoppers and locusts are actually kosher (and pareve!) but Ashkenazic and most Sephardic Jews do not eat any insects, though some Yemenites (ever the guardians of Jewish tradition and language) plucked them out of the air during a "locust plague" in Israel a few years ago. Reptiles are all treif. There is a lot more in terms of purity and impurity but that is for another time. Another Havdalah statement and this portion is finished!
Shabbat Shalom!
The this is the account of the deaths of Nadav and Avihu, the two eldest sons of Aaron. The exact circumstances of their deaths are clouded in mystery, appropriate to the the cloud of incense which mists the Holy of Holies in which they died. There are many legends of what happened, (I am not equipped to look them up, due in part to the blackout of power throughout the San Fernando Valley). Many assume that they were drunk when they offered up whatever they did as the first mitzvah that God commands after their death is that a priest is not to DUI (Duchan Under the Influence... actually it just says don't go into the Tent of Meeting, so when they are performing the Avodah of the Temple), they should never appear before God drunk. This is interesting considering the importance of alcohol in Judaism.
What were Nadav and Avihu's intentions? It seems to me that they were zealously wanting to give more to God. The ceremony was concluded and the festivities were in full swing and it seems that Nadav and Avihu, probably drunk, wanted to do more for God and offered up additional sacrifices.
A fire went out from God and consumed them (literally "ate them") and they died before the Lord.Moses proceeds to forward on the word of God to Aaron:
Through them that are close to me I will be sanctified and before all the people I will be glorified.This is interesting, but even more interesting is Aaron's response, or lack thereof:
And Aaron was silent.And then we have the first example of Havdalah, separating between the holy and the profane, between the pure and the impure, both originally lines in the actual Havdalah service we say at the conclusion of Shabbat.
And then the edible kashrut forms the second act in this torah portion, continuing the theme of Havdalah. Animals were classified as pure and impure even back in the time of Noah as he loaded the ark and later sacrificed animals to God. Now animals are officially classified by name. Land mammals must have split hooves AND chew their cud to be kosher, mentioning specifically the camel and the pig as non-kosher due to their only fulfilling one of the two criteria. Almost all animals that chew their cud have split hooves and almost all animals that have split hooves chew their cud, and a Venn diagram would indicate as such, with the pig and camel families being rare exceptions excluded from the overlap. Fins and Scales are the criteria for kosher sealife, which immediately excludes shellfish and sea-mammals. Most fish are kosher but some run into special problems, such as swordfish and sturgeon which, while having fins and scales, lose their scales during their lifetime. Non-kosher birds are listed and, though not officially mentioned in the text, these birds all seem to be birds of prey. And then we come to the most mysterious category: insects. Certain grasshoppers and locusts are actually kosher (and pareve!) but Ashkenazic and most Sephardic Jews do not eat any insects, though some Yemenites (ever the guardians of Jewish tradition and language) plucked them out of the air during a "locust plague" in Israel a few years ago. Reptiles are all treif. There is a lot more in terms of purity and impurity but that is for another time. Another Havdalah statement and this portion is finished!
Shabbat Shalom!
Friday, April 06, 2007
Don't PASSOVER these great savings opportunities.
Actually, I don't think the title has anything to do with the article, except that there is the word "Passover" in it. It just sounds like a great way to advertise a seasonal sale. In fact, I probably saw a sale or two advertised as thus and it just got implanted into my head...
As for the sedarim, I was imposed with a time limit of one hour for the first half (ie: from Kadesh to Shulchan Orech). The Four Sons thing worked out great and led to great discussion. I took around 40 minutes to get through the entire first half to Motzi Matzah; By far the fastest I've ever gotten through part 1 (well, until the second night when we were eating in 25 minutes). I didn't want to go that quickly, but the idea was somehow implanted in certain seder participants that a quick seder was the way to go. Oh well... I was told it was the best seder ever. That's got to count for something. Right‽
On the diet side, though I have lost 70 lbs in 3.5 months, an amazing feat, this past month I have lost very little. I decided to take a hiatus from the diet for the duration of pesach. Dieting during Pesach would be tantamount to suicide. No soy, no electrolytes, no diet shakes, diet bars, soy/seitan/portobello jerky. However lifting it during passover is also suicide. You crash and burn pretty quickly unbridaled on the Festival of Freedom. Oh well, I guess diet's back on sorta...
A Gut Shabbos und a Zissen Pesach,
Matt
As for the sedarim, I was imposed with a time limit of one hour for the first half (ie: from Kadesh to Shulchan Orech). The Four Sons thing worked out great and led to great discussion. I took around 40 minutes to get through the entire first half to Motzi Matzah; By far the fastest I've ever gotten through part 1 (well, until the second night when we were eating in 25 minutes). I didn't want to go that quickly, but the idea was somehow implanted in certain seder participants that a quick seder was the way to go. Oh well... I was told it was the best seder ever. That's got to count for something. Right‽
On the diet side, though I have lost 70 lbs in 3.5 months, an amazing feat, this past month I have lost very little. I decided to take a hiatus from the diet for the duration of pesach. Dieting during Pesach would be tantamount to suicide. No soy, no electrolytes, no diet shakes, diet bars, soy/seitan/portobello jerky. However lifting it during passover is also suicide. You crash and burn pretty quickly unbridaled on the Festival of Freedom. Oh well, I guess diet's back on sorta...
A Gut Shabbos und a Zissen Pesach,
Matt
Monday, April 02, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Pesach (aka Passover) (Redemption: Past, Present, Future)
This year I thought I would lead my first seder a little differently than usual. First of all, I'm replacing Manischwitz Malaga with a Apertif-Semi Dry-Dry-Dessert wine menu (this is gonna be good). My crowd this year has little patience for pomp and circumstance so I decided to eliminate the Arami Oved Avi stuff and instead talk about why Passover is so pertinent today. If you are at my seder tomorrow night I suggest not reading this. Drawing largely on the paper I wrote a few years ago and posted as my Passover Dvar Torah last year (and which I still haven't reread since I originally wrote it two years ago, though I really should), I plan on discussing the importance of the seder experience to our own lives. People get easily bored at sedarim, perhaps this is because they cannot see themselves identifying with the rites involved. But that is the ikar, the most important essense of the seder! "In every generation one must consider if they themselves have left Egypt!" The Passover Seder is more observed than Yom Kippur or Hanukkah rituals. Perhaps the only thing that is more popular is circumcision, but remember that that can only apply to less than half of the Jewish population.
The Rabbis of the Mishnah, in their wisdom, wrote Vehi Sheamda and realized that this must apply to their time. How could they have known that their words would even ring more true, amplified every generation following them for over 2000 years. Just as it stood for our ancestors, so too for us: That not only one [Pharaoh] has tried to stand against us to annihilate us, rather in every generation they try to annihilate us, but the Holy One blessed be He saves us from their grasp. We experienced Pharaoh in Hitler in the Holocaust and I fear many Pharaohs are conspiring against the Jewish people even in our own times, for example, Mahmud Ahmadinijad and Hassan Nasrallah. And yet through all of this God has not let his chosen nation perish. This is why we give thanks to God on this Leil Shimurim, the evening which the Torah says not only was a night of special protection in Egypt 3319 years ago, but forever shall be a night where God especially protects the Jews.
And in Ha Lachma we say that "today we are slaves". But wait, I'm reclining at a table and I seem pretty free! There is a line that disturbs me as the penultimate line of Birkat HaMazon, the Grace After Meals, "I was young and I grew old and I never saw a righteous man abandoned nor his children begging for bread". Having lived in Jerusalem I can say that this is not true. However I think this is an ideal for which we are meant to strive for. We cannot always count on a supernatural miracle. True, I may actually see righteous people reduced to panhandling, but God demands that I do something about it. I might not be a slave, but there are people who are slaves in the world. An ethical kashrut for fair work wages might be in order.
My focus this sedernakht will be on the four son... er... four children.
I have compiled images from many haggadot from over 500 years and will have my participants analyze specific images. I present one which is clear cut, featuring the Marx Bros. and another which is ambiguous to which of the children each represents (each child is represented by a different book). There is so much room for discussion beyond the droll "who's feeling especially wicked tonight?" or "if I get asked to read the wise son one more time I'm gonna make sure they consider me the wicked one in the future". We know it, we've done it forever. We know what all of them represent. When you compare the son who doesn't know how to ask to a chassid who won't ask because he unquestionably accepts everything he learns as God's word -- Now you've got my attention!Chag Kasher V'Sameach,
Matt
Saturday, March 31, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Tzav/Shabbat HaGadol (It's the Great Sabbath, Charlie Brown!)
This Shabbat is called The Great Sabbath because it was one of the only two times a year in which Rabbis in olden times would address the community and the remarks, about how to properly kasher for the holiday, were greatly extended, hence the superlative Shabbat HaGadol. This makes it more ironic that my commentary will be short due to the fact that I am following the very instructions to kasher many kitchens and therefore have not the time required to compose a "great" sermon (in multiple senses of the word "great", quality AND quantity).
The Torah portion read during Shabbat HaGadol tends to get ignored but there is something very pertinent to passover. They used to offer a grain sacrifice daily on the altar. What would you do during Passover when you can't possess leaven? The answer, found in this week's Torah Portion, Tzav, is that the priest is to NEVER offer Chametz, leavened bread, on the altar. Rather it is always to be in the form of Matzah, unleavened bread.
I wish we could have read the Haftarah assigned to Tzav (but not read this week because it is superseded by Haftarah Shabbat HaGadol the last words of Malachi). It would have concluded with the famous words: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the strong man glory in his strength, let not the rich man glorify himself with his wealth. For only with this may he glory: contemplating and knowing me, for I am the Lord. Who does kindness, justice and righteousness in the land, for these I desire -- the Word of The Lord."
Here's some fun with acronyms: כי אני ה' עשה חסד משפט וצדקה. The Rashei Teyvot (first letters) of the three things God desires spell חמ"צ. Chametz‽ God desires leavened bread‽ On Passover‽
And then there is the end of Malachi, the book which the Christians end their Old Testament. As for the Jews it is the last book in Prophets. We still have the Writings section to go. Anyway, it talks about the arrival of Elijah the Prophet to announce the Messiah. The final thing that happens is that God "will send Elijah the Prophet,לפני בא את יום ה' הגדול והנורא
Well, I went on way too long. It really is the Great Sabbath.
Have a Great Sabbath! (Ha! Get it? Great Sabbath? Oh this stuff is wasted...)
Matt
The Torah portion read during Shabbat HaGadol tends to get ignored but there is something very pertinent to passover. They used to offer a grain sacrifice daily on the altar. What would you do during Passover when you can't possess leaven? The answer, found in this week's Torah Portion, Tzav, is that the priest is to NEVER offer Chametz, leavened bread, on the altar. Rather it is always to be in the form of Matzah, unleavened bread.
I wish we could have read the Haftarah assigned to Tzav (but not read this week because it is superseded by Haftarah Shabbat HaGadol the last words of Malachi). It would have concluded with the famous words: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the strong man glory in his strength, let not the rich man glorify himself with his wealth. For only with this may he glory: contemplating and knowing me, for I am the Lord. Who does kindness, justice and righteousness in the land, for these I desire -- the Word of The Lord."
Here's some fun with acronyms: כי אני ה' עשה חסד משפט וצדקה. The Rashei Teyvot (first letters) of the three things God desires spell חמ"צ. Chametz‽ God desires leavened bread‽ On Passover‽
And then there is the end of Malachi, the book which the Christians end their Old Testament. As for the Jews it is the last book in Prophets. We still have the Writings section to go. Anyway, it talks about the arrival of Elijah the Prophet to announce the Messiah. The final thing that happens is that God "will send Elijah the Prophet,לפני בא את יום ה' הגדול והנורא
Well, I went on way too long. It really is the Great Sabbath.
Have a Great Sabbath! (Ha! Get it? Great Sabbath? Oh this stuff is wasted...)
Matt
Saturday, March 24, 2007
DVAR TORAH S2: Vayikra ("that's one small aleph for a man")
We now enter the hardest book of the bible for which to write original Divrei Torah. It is difficult to adapt the "Torah of Priests", Leviticus, consisting of little narrative and little else besides priestly sacrifices, to today. Yet the very first word of the book, also its namesake and the namesake of this week's torah portion, ויקרא
Shabbat Shalom and No Ruz Mubarak to all my friends from Shushan.
Moshe, who was called by name by God.
Shabbat Shalom and No Ruz Mubarak to all my friends from Shushan.
Moshe, who was called by name by God.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
California Primary moved up
Governator Schwarzenegger signed into law yesterday that the 2008 Primary Elections in California will be moved up to February 5, 2008, from the original planned June primary date. This is HUGE. It makes California a much more important state. I thought it might be fun to move it to, say, January 8, 2008 and see what Iowa does in response with their Caucus. By Iowa state law they must have the first elections in the country. Well, where it is right now gives the great state of California, a state that if it was its own country would have the sixth largest economy in the world, as well as holding 55 congressional seats (13% of all voting house members are Californian), some serious leverage. New Hampshire, traditionally following Iowa, is now third after Nevada's Democratic Caucus. As a Californian I don't like the amount of time which candidates spend in Iowa (one of my former roommates is probably shaking his head right now) and New Hampshire. Why do these states that provide corn and (um) granite hold so much sway over the political make-up of the general elections? How about California that contributes all of the media (which my people, in turn, control)? Well now California is set at #5. Super Tuesday is gone. Now California is going to have its day and maybe we'll see a Presidential Candidate motorcade on Ventura Blvd sometime soon...
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