Ahmadinejad is a Sukkah!

(Should be pronounced in the Mr. T pronounciation, not the impending holiday, though that's the reason I used said title)

So I have received maybe 200 e-mails in the past week and a half about Mahmud Ahmadinejad (first spellcheck suggestion in Firefox, BTW: "Shadiness"; how appropriate...). He came, on Monday, to my Alma Mater, Columbia University. Why does columbia continually do this? Anyway, I sent a number of e-mails to the VBS listserv this week and I want to share them with you. Note that I have not included other peoples' e-mails to protect their privacy so they might be out of context:

Sep 21, 2007 9:36 AM
	subject			Re: Ahmadinejad
	mailed-by			gmail.com

As an alumnus and as a member of LionPAC, Columbia's AIPAC arm, I want you to be assured that he's going to have a little welcoming committee when he comes. He was supposed to come speak last year but cancelled at the last minute. Perhaps he will rethink once again speaking on a campus on which a third of the students are Jewish and a good portion are Israelis.

Gmar Tov and a meaningful fast,
Matt

Sep 23, 2007 10:27 PM
	subject			Re: Ahmadinejad
	mailed-by			gmail.com

It's funny, in the last week I have gotten over 100 e-mails regarding the Ahmadinejad situation; the last 11 consecutive e-mails have had the word Ahmadinejad in the header. I have been invited to protests through the Columbia Political Union, Columbia/Barnard Hillel, AIPAC, IsraelCampusBeat, StandWithUsCampus, a chevruta (study partners) program I used to be affiliated with, and various students of Columbia, Barnard, and the Jewish Theological Seminary, as well as invitations to seminars about Iran and Ahmadinejad, and a friendly reminder from the Columbia Democrats to protest nicely.

I turned on FOX News this morning and it was the top story. Sure, Columbia is no stranger to controversy. On IsraelCampusBeat, which reports on Israel and Jewish-related "issues" on universities worldwide, there are usually at least two articles with the little blue Roary The Lion icon, signifying that there is yet another example of Israel getting somehow disparaged in a Columbia classroom/Anti-Iraq War protest, so it comes as no surprise to me that a campus which two years ago rejected the obvious academic intimidation perpetrated by anti-Israel and anti-Semitic (and when I say Semitic, I mean anti-Jewish, nobody ever refers to the other descendants of Shem by this moniker, so please don't counter with the semantics as Professor Hamid Dabashi did when he called a Jewish student with blue eyes "not Semitic") professors not allowing any pro-Israeli opinions within their classrooms. Indeed, nothing surprises me anymore about some of the enterprising (read: incredibly idiotic and embarrassing) programs which my fair Alma Mater and President Lee Bollinger comes up with.

So, yes it was stupid to invite the President of Iran, but at the same time it the opportunity of a lifetime to hear the Hitler of our times on our own home turf. I would not want to be the Jew in the crowd at a Nazi Rally in 1935 Berlin, but the fact is that Ahmadinijad is going to "Columbia JEWniversity of JEW York City" (as we so belovedly call it), where he will be preaching to a whole bunch of Jews. He's not going to win anyone over with his ranting propaganda. He's not in Tehran where they eat up his every anti-Semitic word, but in a room filled with headstrong intellectuals who won't take any of his crap. I just fear that he will be heckled as my fellow students heckled John Ashcroft a couple of years ago... that was just embarrassing.

Count on this not to end pretty. I cringe in advance.

Shana Tova,
Matt

Sep 24, 2007 6:11 PM
	subject			Re: Fw: Columbia President's Statement About President Ahmadinejad's Appearance
	mailed-by			gmail.com

Yes indeed, I am proud of President Bollinger who couldn't have handled it any better. As for the statement, it is actually much longer and much juicier. The transcript of his introduction can be found at http://www.columbia.edu/cu/news/07/09/lcbopeningremarks.html

One of the best lines: "Let's, then, be clear at the beginning, Mr. President you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator."

I found these other lines in an article on Breitbart: http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070924225252.klmczhdo&show_article=1

"Why are you so afraid of Iranian citizens expressing their opinions for change?" he asked, challenging the leader of the Islamic republic to explain his comments downplaying the Holocaust.

"Frankly, in all candor Mr President, I doubt you will have the intellectual courage to answer these questions," he added.

"When you come to a place like this, this makes you quite simply ridiculous. You are either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated," he said.

The truth is that the Holocaust is the most documented event in human history." (as found on a Fox News Article http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,297823,00.html)

As for President Ahmadinejad, he once again proved himself a fool. "In Iran, we don't have homosexuals like in your country. We don't have that in our country. In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I don't know who has told you that we have it." He was evasive on the simplest of questions regarding his basest policies.

I am yet to watch the speech but I am currently instant messaging friends who saw it live so I will update you when I hear more. As of now, I feel good that my worst fears weren't realized -- that Columbians didn't make fools of the United States by heckling and not hearing him out, however stupid he sounds. And as for President Bollinger, I am proud of his ability to not sugarcoat (which I feared he would) but instead attacked where it hurts, even if Ahmadinejad was completely evasive or ridiculous at points. I don't think Iran's president expected it to go like this at all, broadsided as he was, and I think he will rethink how he talks to outside media in the future.

Matt

As of press I am both proud of and ashamed of Columbia. I am proud that President Bollinger broadsided the President of the Islamic Republic of Iran and made him look like a complete fool and liar. I am proud of the Hillel, LionPAC, and other groups and decent individuals who peacefully protested against the Hitler of today from the actual Aryan country (Aryan people originally migrated from Iran. However, I am ashamed and horrified that students cheered when Ahmadinejad called for the destruction of the State of Israel. Having attended Columbia for four and a half years I know that there is a lot of Israel-hating that goes on there. But cheering a murderous terrorist who calls on it's destruction?! I don't separate Anti-Israel and Anti-Semitism. Also self-hating Jews can also be anti-Semites. I consider members of the Jewish sect of Netueri Karta to be anti-Semites. I also consider former acquaintances who have fallen in with the socialist crowd and have become anti-Israel... well you can see why they are not current friends... The great irony in the socialist crowd is that the socialists seem to support the dictator-run countries while denouncing Israel, the only country in the world where socialism has remotely worked. The country was formed by socialists and social Zionism and the Kibbutz system is the best example of social communism at work. Not that I support communism or socialism, but I just find it funny that most of these socialists seem to support fascism over socialism.

Yom Tov is coming, but I don't think I'm done with this one. Gut Yontif and as we celebrate the festival in which we traditionally advocate for all of the other nations of the world, may I advocate that the residents of nations that are forcibly suppressed by evil dictators overthrow their captors. As it is written in the Uvchen prayers of the High Holidays which have just passed, "ki taavir mimshelet zadon min haaretz", "for You shall cause to be removed wicked governments from the world".

Gut Yontif.

DVAR TORAH S2: Sukkot (Jewish Thanksgiving)

On Win Ben Stein's Money, a show which I hugely loved a decade ago (during the Jimmy Kimmel era) a question was asked to the contestants (one of which I think was a redheaded Rabbi with a kippa) of "What is the Jewish Thanksgiving?" Even the Rabbi didn't get the answer: "Sukkot". The truth is that most of our holidays are of thanksgiving. Hallel is said on many of these occasions, sacrifices in the temple are designated as Thanksgiving Offerings, Al HaNisim is even said on the minor festivals, we have three Pilgrimage Festivals, any of which could be legitimately designated "Jewish Thanksgiving".

Yet I further pondered this and realized that Thanksgiving, viewed in the sense of American Thanksgiving, does most strongly parallel the Festival of Booths. For one, both are Harvest festivals. Yes, both Pesach and Shavuot are also Harvest festivals as well, but Sukkot is the only Fall Harvest holiday in Judaism, and therefore the produce is comparable. Both holidays celebrate survival in difficult conditions, the Pilgrim survival in harsh New England cold and the Israelite survival in the unbearable steppes of Sinai, and yet both claim divine providence. Both are celebrated by inviting guests to partake in a feast (and even if the Jews don't have physical guests, we invite seven biblical characters and invoke God's name in prayer; likewise traditional Thanksgiving observance includes opening prayers with biblical references). Both are holidays of selflessness. In the Holy Temple, 70 bulls were sacrificed on behalf of the 70 nations of the world. People are increasingly charitable leading up to Thanksgiving, and food drives are the order of the day. Centerpieces and decorations celebrating God's bountiful gifts further increase the beauty of the holiday tables, in the form of cornucopias and lulav/etrog, both also symbols of fertility, as well as hanging fruit usually of the plastic variety for both holidays.

Well, I'm convinced. Moadim L'Simcha and Happy Thanksgiving.

F'n Dodgers! (AKA 19th Annual Dem Bums)

Well, the Bums have done it again, and the Dodgers have once again turned a first place in the Major Leagues season into total crap, ending up in 4th place in NL West. My one consolation is at least we beat the San Francisco Giants. Well, better luck next year for the 20th annual jubilee without a World Series ring or even advancing in the playoffs to pennant contention (as last year: Chas V'Shalom)...

I guess dodgerblues.com is still in business...

DVAR TORAH: High Holidays 5768 (Teshuva: Phoning it in)

At least since last year there has been a unique way to gain forgiveness prior to Yom Kippur, a teshuva hotline operated by Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report. The phone number has been variously given as 1 800-KLI-TZEDEK and 1-888-OOPS-JEW. I called the latter and left a message on the hotline, asking for forgiveness for missing the 11:30 PM (8:30 PM on East Coast Feed as I so often watch) show sometimes in attempts to be social; how selfish of me...

If only it were this easy, a one-ended confessional. With no offense to Mr. Colbert (whom I wish not to offend as I now have a clean slate with him). Teshuva is difficult. One really must lower and degrade themselves to ask forgiveness of another person. Ultimately it matters on our scorecard in a certain Book, but on earth it can be a serious blow to one's self-esteem and others' esteem of them to ask forgiveness of someone they may have wronged.

And yet, saying we are sorry is one of the ways the world doesn't devolve into utter primordeal chaos.

I just thought of a comparison to something which we do on the opposite side of the year, when we search for the Chometz, the bread crumbs which have filled our houses for the past year, as well as the rest of the Kashering procedures for Passover. It is an intense process that involves scalding, burning, dunking, feathering, and other strange gerunds (participles?) I could liken sin to bread crumbs. After a sin is committed/a piece of bread is eaten, they quickly spread and proliferate and at the appropriate time of the year we search and destroy, seeking out those sins and bread crumbs and resolving that in the future to be more careful to avoid offending another/to be more careful when eating bread. A note about the bread crumb thing -- apparently the Jews of medieval Europe widely avoided the Black Plague because they had clean homes and not the dirty and rat-infested homes and water-systems of the Christians, mainly because they annually fully cleaned their communities whereas for others the centuries of filth piled up. So getting on your hands and knees to clean the nooks and crannies of those damn bread crumbs or getting on your hands and knees to beg forgiveness of your fellow, are, yes, degrading, but can also save your very life.

May we be sealed in the Book of Life for a year of goodness, health, prosperity, merits, blessing and peace.

Rooster's Revenge

Alright, so now for the trauma, as I have promised. Disclaimer that this is not for the faint of heart. You have been warned.

Today I have performed a number of acts that should pretty much secure me in the Book of Life Category. I properly fasted the Fast of Gedaliah, not even experiencing hunger or thirst at its conclusion. I recited the selichot of aforementioned fast as well as that of the Ten Days of Repentence. I ascended Mount Sinai (the cemetery, not the mountain) to visit the graves of my grandparents, aleyhem ha'shalom, braving the two mile freeway backup (no joke) to get into the cemetery today (I guess people are dying to get in... (joke)) . I went to Lake Balboa and performed Tashlich, throwing my sins in the form of breadcrumbs into the living, albeit man-made waters. I had a chicken swung around my head.

Wait, what was that last one?!

I newly have Persian in-laws and it is considered a method of great mazel to the family to perform the ancient ritual of Kapparot, or as we Yiddishists prefer to refer to it, shluggin kapporus. This is probably the closest thing in modern Judaism to the Holy Temple, quite literally a sacrifice. This is also why I am mildly traumatized. I have never performed the ritual, at least never with a living creature, but always with money that I would then donate to charity. But I decided to tag along and so we went to Ohel Moshe in Pico-Robertson this morning and the Rabbi there elevated a rooster by under its wings (so as to not hurt it) over our heads, reciting a formula to transfer our sins onto the rooster. Something like "Though this rooster goes to its death may these people live long lives free of sin". Following this the guy turns aside, massages the neck of the bird, lulling it into a restful state, and takes a special rectangular knife and severed the juggular vein. This is also the first time I have ever experienced shechita. A messy business but that is the only way to have kosher food. The birds will be given, by the way, to poor families as food, thus killing two birds with one stone (pardon the pun), not only somehow ridding us of our sins, but as tzedekah so poor people can have a proper feast on the eve of Yom Kippur.

I must say, as traumatized as this will probably make me, It is also incredibly humbling. This rooster was put to death so that we could somehow be cleansed of our sins. Kinda makes you want to avoid sin at all costs. I finally have an appreciation for the Hebrew term "Yirat Chet" "Fear of Sin". Short of going to a mikvah (something I have yet to do in my life) and being sprinkled by the ashes of the red heifer (something anyone is yet to do in their life in the past 2000 years), I am squeaky clean as I can get. Still, the rooster may get his revenge in my psyche, a la Aornis Hades in the Thursday Next series. I'm not soon going to forget it...

All the same, I think I'll stick to tzedekah next year.

DVAR TORAH S2: Haazinu/Shabat Shuvah

This past week (yeah, I keep releasing these things ex post facto, sorry...) we read the short poetic Parasha known as Haazinu. This is a little disturbing, filled with Israel's impending rejection of God and God's subsequent justified hiding from the people. This has been pretty standard in the Torah but it is rarely written in this poetic a form. Why is it written as a poem? My rabbi and congregants brought up various ideas (which I don't remember due to severe exhaustion from Rosh Hashannah), but I think that it is that a poem is easier to remember than prose, something especially important in a society that is based on oral tradition rather than written histories. Moses probably felt that a poem would hit closer to home and would be more memorable with the dire warnings it gives to Israel, lest they fulfill the conditions leading to their abandonment by God. This Torah portion, and even moreso with the special Haftarah for Shabbat Shuvah, exhort us to do teshuvah, to turn from wicked paths and return to the Lord.

I'm still trying to process what happened today so will end here. I will write about this event in the near future.

G'mar Chatima Tova

DVAR TORAH S2: Nitzavim-Vayelech (lotsa dots)

This Shabbos we read the feel-good Torah portion of the summer, Nitzavim-Vayelech. It contains all the lines essential to make people feel all warm and fuzzy, that the Torah is in our hands, that which is revealed belongs to us, that those that disobey will be blotted out. Well, not so much that last one... but in this week's parasha we have a scribal oddity. Dots appear above key words in a sentence that basically translates (I'm not actually looking up the verse as I'm le tired) "the hidden things are for the Lord our God but that which is revealed is for us and our children forever". Lanu U'lvaneinu Ad Olam (bolded is the letters with dots). What can this possibly mean? I think it could be the method in which one sins: I pose the question of which is worse: a robber or a burglar. A robber steals in broad daylight and therefore shows no fear of other people. A burglar breaks in in the dead of night, fearing people but showing no fear of God. In this example the burglar is worse. The case of a sin is that God only concerns Himself with it if it is bottled inside but the truth shall set you free. In this time of Selichot (which is the reason I am exhausted as I just finished leading it) we are to confess our sins collectively with a formula. But to actually admit to people you have wrong you have sinned, that might help. It could also have serious repercussions but perhaps God ceases to hold it against you.

Conversely perhaps this line is about acquiring knowledge. Whether Torah or cures to diseases the potential is always there, waiting for discovery. Now it is in God's realm but, matter-of-factly, it enters our world once "discovered", leaving the other elements in God's Big Repository of Knowledge. This plays into the section that it is not in Heaven. The Torah has been given to us and now it is ours.

Like Moses I am going to take two tablets but will hit a rock Jacob-style (no, I'm not taking sleeping pills... the former is not true, though the latter meaning is that I'm going to sleep)

If I have wronged anyone in anyway I wholeheartedly apologize. I know that a blog entry doesn't sound sincere for something like that, but in the thousands of unique hits I have received in the last year I can't contact anybody. Well, the sins are out in the open through this confession, right?

Shana Tova,

Matt

DVAR TORAH S2: Ki Tavo (10% Off!)

Ki Tavo contains some of the least famous words of the most observed holiday: Arami Oved Avi. It also contains the laws of tithing. Let's take a look for a moment at the Jewish calendaring system. One way years are grouped are in cycles of seven, that every seventh year is the Sabbatical year. On the other six years we are commanded to give certain tithes, tithe meaning one-tenth of our produce. On years 1, 2, 4, and 5 we are commanded to give to the Levite, our brothers who have not been assigned a portion in the land of Israel and are dependent on our kindness, an obligatory act known as Maaser Rishon. This is in addition to Trumah, the giving of our produce to a Kohen. On the third and sixth years, the latter of which is the year we are currently ending, we are commanded to give Maaser Sheni, also known as Maaser Oni, Tithe to the Poor. Ten percent of all we make is to go t0 the poor, the widow, the orphan, the stranger. Even the poorest person had to give ten percent. How does this work today?

This week in Rabbinical School orientation we studied the social contract an ancient king had with his subjects. The king is described as "great", "awesome" "mighty" "powerful". The king would then follow this with "therefore he has absolute power of life and death over you". This is true of God, the King of kings of kings, but God's description continues instead with "defender of orphans, champion of widows, maker of justice and righteousness". The wealthy must not be satiated just by his wealth, but must literally share the wealth. For so as long as there are hungry people in Israel we cannot stand idly by the blood of our neighbors. Give a hoot, give tzedekah.

DVAR TORAH S2: Ki Tetze (The Lighter Side of ... God)

Mad Magazine Reference...

If last week's Parasha is filled with laws of vigilante justice, this week's is filled with mercy and compassion (besides the case of the Ben Sorer U'Moreh which I have discussed for the past two years so I will not cover this year).

One is to show compassion for one's enemy. Even in ancient military victory where the spoils went to the victor, In Judaism had to be compassionate for the captives they took. If one wanted to take a wife from a defeated heathen they must first allow her to mourn for her life that she lost and take safeguards prevent her from entering into a loveless marriage where the only consideration would have been her beauty. One must return stray livestock to one's enemy as well. It is possibly from here where the shock and disdain at the events of Kamsa and Bar Kamsa emerge.

Respect for the dead, even those who were executed at the hands of the court, forbade the indignity of anything but immediate burial. Further, if a married man died childless, then his brother is supposed to marry his widow and have a child to perpetuate the name of the dead. We see example of this in the case of Ruth

Respect for one's body and for procreation. One who causes themselves to be unable to procreate, such as "crushed testicles" in the words of the Torah, is forbidden to enter the Congregation of the Lord. If another person purposefully causes him to become impotent, they will be punished (the example given is if two men are fighting and the wife of one grabs the testicles of the other her hand gets cut off).

Respect for family's, even of non-humans. Shooing a mother bird so she doesn't have to witness you taking her eggs would bring length of days, a mitzvah on par with "Honor thy mother and father".

Further kindness to animals, animals of different strengths and speeds, say an ox and a donkey are never to be forced to pull the same plow. When any animal is worked in the field, one may not muzzle it, it must be allowed to graze and water freely.

Kidnap and rape would be dealt with capitally. They are absolutely abhorrent to God and the perpetrators would be put to death.

Business practices must be fair and honest. Charging interest to another Jew taking a loan is forbidden. Taking something they need to survive or make a livelihood as collateral is similarly forbidden. One must pay a laborer no later than the promised paydate. Doctoring weights on scales will also be dealt with harshly.

Escaped slaves will not be returned to their masters.

God is merciful to the destitute. The widow, the stranger, the orphan, animals, slaves, poor, children (except for exceptionally rebellious ones), enemies, the condemned, the dead -- all are subject to the mercies of God.

Finally we have a commandment which above all else must be heard at least once a year: to remember what Amalek did to you. Amalek wasn't kind to women, children, weak, and elderly when they attacked from behind and murdered the defenseless stragglers. We must remember this abhorrent injustice always and do our best to eradicate it.

DVAR TORAH S2: Shoftim (The one with the violent rules of justice)

Tzedek Tzedek Tirdof "Justice Justice Shalt Thou Pursue", probably the most famous line of this Torah Portion, introduces a series of laws that could best be described as tough justice. For the next few weeks we will hear of laws that are so reprehensible, the rabbis decreed they could never be carried out, such as the Wayward and Rebellious Son (Ben Sorer U'Moreh). They are also laws that offend our modern sensibilities. How do we, as Jews, defend the law of proscription, especially in a post-Holocaust age? The truth of the matter there is that the nation of Amalek at which this is especially directed attacked us from behind, preying on the women, children, elderly, and weak of Israel. The other nations, if Moabites and Amorites can serve as an example, even with peace offers and requests to merely walk through the land they sought to destroy us. It says in the talmud "if your enemy awakens early in the morning to kill you, you must wake up earlier than him to kill him first". This is based on self-defense. There can be no real comparison to the genocides of the 20th century here.

Lest we think there is only vigilante justice, let us examine briefly the other Attribute of God that is commanded onto us: mercy. There really are morals here to protect both the individual and the army. Those with things left to do that will otherwise distract them from the war are excused from duty. For the sake of themselves and others whom they might lead to stray from their tasks in the holy wars of which they are commanded, they must go home, though they will have a part in the booty. The standing army must remain strong.

Pretty good for a couple days late and currently completely distracted...

DVAR TORAH S2: Re'eh (Death Eaters need not apply)

In this week's Torah portion, among many other things, we get the source for the taboo on tattoos. You shall not make a gash in your body for the dead. There seems to be an ancient pagan mourning practice to injure yourself when someone dies. Our Rabbis have expanded this to forbid tattoos and excessive piercings.

In a few weeks (next week for Sephardic Jews) we will begin to recite Selichot, the penitential prayers for the Days of Awe. We recite "the soul is yours and the body your handiwork... the soul is yours and the body is yours..." Our bodies are on loan to us from God, a temporary housing for our souls. We therefore need to treat this gift from God with respect. We mustn't mutilate it by tattooing it or piercing it excessively, nor abusing it with too much (or too little) food, alcohol, drugs or other detrimental things. Instead we must try and keep healthy. Remember that everyone's bodies eventually return to God, and you're going to want to get your security deposit back...

DVAR TORAH S2: Ekev ("Evil will always triumph because good is dumb")

A point to the first person who comments with the source of this quote without having to google it.

In this past week's Torah portion, Ekev, we have the much maligned middle paragraph of the Shema, the quintessential source for reward for following mitzvot and punishment for shirking them, all in the form of the most essential boon for members of an agrarian society: rain, whether sent in abundance or withheld in drought, rain marks the difference between life and death. Even today, though I live in a city, I would be ultimately affected by drought. It could be much worse than a whopping $24 for a case of cantaloupe as a result of this year's drought...

But it would be foolish to say that drought and starvation is a direct result of evil. I cringed when a famous yet infamous rabbi said that Hurricane Katrina was a result of lack of Torah study in New Orleans. This very need to justify everything with a reason for divine retribution kept the Rabbis of the Talmud up at night. A famous example in the Talmud involves a son climbing a tree to fetch some eggs, in doing so fulfilling the two mitzvot that carry with them a reward of long life, that is honoring his father (#1) and shooing the mother bird (#2) to fetch the eggs. The kid, in doing these two things fell from the ladder and died. The rabbis tried to reason this: the kid wasn't intending to fulfill the mitzvot, he was going to grow up to be a murderer, and so forth. Finally a rabbi steps in and says two words: Sulam Rakua, a faulty ladder. If you step on a broken ladder, don't expect a miracle. It's going to break. Rain will fall even if you are evil. Drought will happen even if you are good.

The reason we say this second paragraph silently, I said, is so that the common person does not question the fact that the content is patently false. The wise, however, will examine it and come to the conclusion that there is free will given to the universe, and that goodness will result in human goodness in turn and evil will be repaid in human evil. Don't look for the salvation of God in the face of the deluge, as we find in a famous joke. Rather look for God in the rescuers he sent with the two boats and the helicopter.

Attending the Asterisk? Ah, no...

Last night I attended the second game of a three game Dodgers home series in which they faced their archrivals the San Francisco Giants. Now, this would normally be a ticket I would especially love to get my hands on, but this series in particular, when Barry Bonds is one home run shy of tying Hank Aaron's most important record in sports history, the lifetime homerun count, that would lead one to kill to attend. I went so far as to get bleacher tickets in the All You Can Eat section, at $45 a waste for me as I keep kosher, but I could buy millions of kosher dogs if I caught that home run ball...

This is the first time in the hundreds of games I have attended at Dodger Stadium that I sat in the bleachers. In fact, I have sat in every section but the bleachers.

The fact that Bonds is a lefty and I had seats in the final row (Section 310, row Z, seat 10 to be exact) of the Right Field Bleachers made it a prime target -- er -- spot to try and catch number 755* or 756*. Unfortunately, no such chance came as Barry Bonds sucks. At least that is what the fans around me yelled. You see, the Bleachers bring out the worst in a person. I know this from attending a Yankee game, the only other time in my life I sat in a MLB game in the bleacher section. People threw beer at my friend who was rooting for the other team, a team which doesn't even have an existing rivalry with the Yanks (Like the Rabbis in the story of Kamsa and Bar Kamsa, I kept my silence lest I get murdered by the rabid fans as well). This Dodger Game was especially nuts because of the team we were facing, our archrivals, the San Francisco Giants. Anyone who walked by wearing the halloween colors of the Giants was immediately booed. Some people even had things thrown at them, such as peanuts, and at one point, a baseball glove. The man in the orange in the third picture, obviously a dedicated fan of the Giants, pictured was kicked out of the game by ushers, security guards, and armed officers of the LAPD, fans of my section chanting "Kick him out! Kick him out!". On the other hand, Dodger fans who were kicked out (and there were many) were cheered "Let them stay! Let them stay!". Due to the possibility of homicide or riots resulting in someone catching the home run ball, there were dozens of cops packing heat in our section.

I was cheered on two separate occasions, both for tripping for climbing on slippery objects, the first time some wet steps, the second time on wet seats. Gevald, I'm such a klutz and my shins really hurt.

Notwithstanding my idiotic injuries, I would have to declare this the best Dodger game I ever attended. Not just because of the amazing back to back comeback we made in the 8th inning, indeed I have been to Dodger games where historic things have happened: Shawn Green getting four home runs in a single game in a three game streak of seven. Hee Seop Choi hitting three home runs (three more than he usually hits in a game), two of the only rain-outs in Dodger Stadium history, and yet I declare this the greatest game because of the electricity in the air. I spent most of the game on my feet because of the excitement in the section. True, lashon hara abounded, particularly against the center-fielder a couple of feet away (you could also tell when Bonds was up to bat as a loud roar of boos filled the stadium, everyone got to their feet, and everyone in the sold-out capacity crowd was blinded by tens of thousands of flashbulbs). So maybe he gets his asterisk tonight. I don't think it honorable to recognize the record of someone who uses performance enhancing drugs. No, I think we need to revert to the record of the Great Bambino; Babe Ruth's anti-drug was hot-dogs, beer, and women. The Sultan of Sw(e)at never needed to run because he kept hitting them out of the park; the big guy could just amble at a leisurely pace around the diamond.

I wouldn't mind catching that 755th ball, though. I told the woman sitting next to me that should I need to defenestrate myself (I was in the last row and there was no backstop preventing me from falling out of the stadium a la Maude Flanders or the bad guy in Naked Gun). I could always replace my bones with the millions of dollars I would get for catching that ball... I would want to stay if I caught the record-tying 755 so perhaps I could also catch the record-breaking 756, but a police officer told me that they'd escort you out of the stadium so quickly once you caught that ball, lest you be murdered.

And on that cheerful note, goodbye.

DVAR TORAH S2: Vaetchanan/Tu B'Av (Show some love)

This past week we read Parashat Vaetchanan, one of the most liturgically important sections of the Torah. In addition to the Ten Commandments being restated, we also have the first paragraph of the Shema. Though this is probably the most well known passage in the entire Bible, the mitzvot described may be some of the most difficult to accomplish. Traditionally we number 613 mitzvot in the Torah. Very few mitzvot require special kavanah, a strict focus upon only the commandment which you are fulfilling. The Mitzvah here, not only requires kavanah but it asks for a feeling which is almost impossible to give freely. Let me illustrate with the lyrics to "What the world needs now" by Burt Bacharach

What the world needs now is love, sweet loveIt's the only thing that there'sjust
too little ofWhat the world needs now is love, sweet love,No, not just forsome
but for everyone.Lord, we don't need another mountain,There are mountainsand
hillsides enough to climbThere are oceans and rivers enough to cross,Enoughto
last till the end of time.What the world needs now is love, sweet loveNo,
notjust for some but for everyone.

The mitzvah here is the command to love the Lord your God with all yourheart(s), all your soul, and all your might. We recite this officially twice daily (We even recite in the liturgy "twice daily with love we recite the Shema"). Do we have to always love God as we say these words? If I am,God-forbid, sitting shiva, will I really be happy with God? If I had a bad day and I'm going to bed, is the last thing I say before I close my eyes to sleep going to be a lie? I don't have the answer to this question and it is one each of us have to come up with for ourselves.

However, there is another season of love, one which is celebrated in the most minor and unknown (but happiest) of festivals: Today's holiday of Tu B'Av. The full moon of Av, after getting out of the horrible Three Weeks season, we approach the High Holiday season of purity with celebrations of virility and fertility. Love and family are stressed on this holiday and was the happiest of days in the existence of the Temple, even if today it is only celebrated by omitting of Tachanun and all the Jewish Singles groups holding mixers.

Well, happy Love Day...

DVAR TORAH S2: Tisha B'Av (The day the world was destroyed)

In Judaism we have a tradition called yahrzeit, that we commemorate the anniversary of a relative's death on the Hebrew calendar. Had we commemorated the all the bad things that have happened to the Jewish people on their proper yahrzeit, the entire year would be spent in mourning. Therefore, One day in 354 (or 353, 355, 383, 384, or 385 depending on the year) we aggregate all of the horrible things that have befallen the Jewish people (and there have been quite a few of them...) into a single 25 hour period. So many catastrophes beyond measure occured on this day itself: the sin of the 10 spies and the 40 years of the dying out of the slave generation, the destruction of the first and second temples, the destruction of Beitar and the proscription on the burial of the martyrs, the expulsion of the Jews from Spain and the Spanish Inquisition, the dawn of World War I (events which led to the Holocaust), the expulsion from Gush Katif, and more.

On Rosh Hashannah we declare "Hayom Harat Olam", "Today the world was created". On Tisha B'Av we should say "Today the world was destroyed". Today was the day when the world lost its innocence, where the world lost the central place of worship, where the world lost its access to the Divine Presence of the Shechinah and the ability to bask in holiness and purity. Our happiest of occasions are diminished: On Pesach we are unable to observe the main mitzvah: to eat the Pesach lamb. We don't get the Avodah on Yom Kippur, we mourn Jerusalem even at the moment of highest joy at weddings.

But we may not mourn excessively! During the Nine Days we are forbidden to eat meat or imbibe wine. Soon after the Destruction, a group of people vowed not to eat meat or drink wine everyday until the Third Temple was built. The rabbis asked them why they vowed this and they responded that meat was offered and wine was libated in the Temple so why should they enjoy these things without a Temple in which to offer them. The rabbis then informed them that they shouldn't eat bread or drink water as these were waved and libated in the Temple. The people saw the point of the rabbis, that mourning excessively would cause them to starve to death, and they decided not to abstain from meat or wine year round.

But today we concentrate our mourning. We mourn for "the compassionate women who boiled their children and ate them at the destruction of the daughter of my people" (Lamentations 4:10). for this and all of the horrible things our people have been reduced to throughout history. "Pour out your heart like water before the Face of God" (2:19). Though the gates of heaven are closed shut, they soon burst open and the promise of redmption is strong. God who took us from slavery to freedom, from hopelessness to redemption, from grief to joy, from mourning to festivity. The last line was: meevel lYom Tov. Our Rabbis say that this day of mourning will be transformed into a Yom Tov when the Temple is rebuilt and that it may be that the Messiah will be born on this very day of Tisha B'Av. Scattered throughout the depravity of Eicha, there is scattered some hope (3:21, 3:56-66, 5:19-21). Today we mourn. Tomorrow may we be redeemed.

Video: JK Rowling reads first chapter of Harry Potter: Deathly Hallows

http://dl.groovygecko.net/anon.groovy/clients/bloomsbury/bl01.html

DVAR TORAH S2: Devarim (Actually about Harry Potter)

A blanket disclaimer of lehavdil between Judaism and Harry Potter lest I be suspected of blasphemy.

This week's Torah Portion is Devarim. "Devarim" and "Kedavra" (In "Avada Kedavra") come from the same root in Hebrew and Aramaic respectively. The sabbath before Tisha B'Av, it is also Shabbat Chazon, the Sabbath of the Vision. Harry Potter has been having visions. That having been said, let's proceed into nonsense.

I find many insane parallels between Judaism and Harry Potter. In the middle three books of the Torah we have our own trio: Moses, Aaron, and Miriam.

As the only male infant to survive the genocide wrought by the Pharaoh, Moses was The Boy Who Lived. Pharaoh marked him as his equal when he became a Prince of Egypt. Pharaoh (Voldemort) faced a power that he knew not, the Power of God ("I know not your God, nor will I let your people go"). Moses also was known as The Chosen One, he who would lead the Jews out of bondage. Moses and Harry can both control snakes, but find out that their enemies (Pharaoh/Voldemort) also can control snakes.

AaRON was of a line of purebloods. That's all I got, but notice that Ron's name is in Aaron's... (see how ridiculous of a Dvar Torah this is shaping up to be...)

HerMiriam (Victor Krum might have pronounced it that way...) is the wise one. Known in the Bible as an Isha Nevona, a woman of great wisdom and Neviah, prophetess. Though she is wise, she also speaks the uncomfortable Truth and gets in trouble for it, such as when she points out that Moses' wife is a Kushite (possibly noting that elsewhere in the Torah it is forbidden to marry a Midianite), while Hermione is constantly pointing out that Harry and Ron are breaking the rules...

There are many occasions when Moses is not believed by his own people, as is Harry. It so frequently happens that society rebels against Moses and God and (noting the blanket l'havdil) Harry and Dumbledore, yet in the end they do believe them.

In this week's Torah portion, Moses asks "How can I do this alone?" Such a burden he has to shoulder, his brother and sister now gone. All of Harry's earthly guides and advisors are also gone. His parents, his godfather, and his teacher are all dead and the final duel might have to be alone. Harry, like Moses, leaves his relationship to keep her out of danger and to focus on the massive task ahead (According to Midrash, Moses wanted to be so close to God that he stopped seeing his wife, something which was not considered a wise move).

And as for the Haftarah, the Temple and Jerusalem were destroyed through hate and injustice but will be redeemed through love, justice, and righteousness. Maybe love will destroy evil as has been hinted in Harry Potter.

Harry Potter 6 Half-Blood Prince Analysis

pg 10 line 8: I think "site" is an error. should be "sight"

31. Dumby injured because reactions slower than they were.

Did Snape use any sort of trickery such as legilimency, veritaserum, wordless wandless magic

during this conversation?

34. "Failed to retreive the prophesy into the bargain?" what does that mean?

55. Which appalling damage have the dursleys inflicted upon dudley? We might automatically

assume the fact that he's in a gang or is portly, but perhaps it is supressing his magical

ability

56. Why was Petunia oddly flushed?

62. I assume more will come of these Infiri in the final book... One of my early predictions

was that Dumbledore will come back as a powerful inferius that Harry will be forced to kill

again.

65. The dragon blood might be reusable, huh? Perhaps to kill horcruxes?

Why was dumbledore wearing the horcrux ring and why did Horace frown at it?

Has Dumbledore ever killed anyone?

79. So does Harry not NEED Occlumency anymore? Will he learn Legilimency at some point?

82. Why is Tonks so glum now, though she was not at Kings Cross at the end of OOTP?

90. what was Hermione looking for in Harry?

97. What do Ron and Hermione think that they keep exchanging dark looks?

104. but he doesn't realize that the next book's the last one. Who is to say that it ends in

June at the end of the 7th school year though...

106. I discussed The disappearances of Fortescue and Olivander in earlier book analyses...

135. They even raided the stuff before the drawing room trap door which Harry found out

about in year 2?

137. Are some wands better than others? Is there only one wand for one wizard? If a wizard

destroys/misplaces their ideal wand, is the replacement not as good?

245. What is Mundungus doing with Aberforth Dumbledore? What shady transaction is going on?

Perhaps both are part of the order? Any Horcruxes in the collection?
==217 3 hours into it==
==258 3:35==

273: Could any of these things be Horcruxes?

275. He thinks that magic means never dying...

277. Never had a friend, never wanted one: Which might mean either a 1 on 1 final battle or

that Harry will have friends fighting with him and Voldy will be all alone

282. setting up ron and hermione 'ship...

286. That monster in Harry's stomach might be dangerous. Not "Aliens" dangerous, but

Voldemort at the end of his duel with Dumbledore in OOTP dangerous.

289. Harry seems to have forgotten the number of occasions in OOTP where he suggested Ginny

go out with Harry

292. "Tea, Coffee, Pumpkin Juice?" I think that's verbatim what Umbridge offered Harry

whenshe was spiking drinks with Veritaserum...

319. Snape didn't even do as well as Harry on the Draught of the Living Dead? Is the reason

because Snape had to experiment to get the shortcuts right?

320. I really think Luna and the Quibbler are going to be right on the nail on something in

the last book... Like flu shots being used by the government for mind control on the Mr. X

episode of the Simpsons, even with the most insane theories you have to be right at some

point... My insane theory is that it will be about chocolate frog cards.

327: Note that Fred has very quick reflexes. Him and George are incredibly talented. Is

there any difference between the two talent-wise? How will they fare in the last book? Their

uncles Fabian and Gideon Prewett (also F & G) were killed in the last war; is history going

to repeat itself?

336: Lupin says Levicorpus was fashionable during his fifth year. Snape likely took NEWT

Potions during his sixth year, did he learn the spell after James used it on him during the

OWL period.

337. Thick gold chain? Could ultimately be a horcrux...

340. Andromeda Black, a pureblood, was in Slytherin but married a muggle, Ted Tonks. I don't

think I've seen other "good" slytherins. Her daughter Nymphadora (aka "Tonks" was in

Hufflepuff). Interesting... Also, why was Voldemort, a half-blood, and Snape, a half-blood,

in Slytherin. Don't they usually only accept purebloods? Were Snape and Voldy the only

exceptions?

362. I think a difference between Voldy and Snape is that Tom Riddle tried to shed his

half-muggle heritage when he created his nom de guerre, Voldemort, whereas Snape's nickname

at least admitted he was half-blood though he was ashamed of it, The Half-Blood Prince

370. Why did Slughorn even include the word horcrux in the memory, not cutting it off before

that point?

372. Is Phineas talking about talking to Slughorn or something else unnamed, such as

fighting Voldemort?

372. Will Fawkes help Harry in DH?

378. What would Lily Potter have done that Slughorn said that she too had nerve?

390. This seems similar to Dumbledore's watch from the first chapter of book one, with stars

instead of planets

405-6: Agreed to kill Dumbledore? Agreed to spy on Voldemort? Do snape and dumbledore

communicate telepathically while they are talking aloud?

415: this hit that cracked his skull... will anything change because of it in terms of his

scar or occlumency/legilimency? Additionally, any significance outside of quidditch to "A

blinding, sickening pain ... a flash of light ... distant screams... and the sensation of

falling down a long tunnel..."; is it just the injury here or is it also a vision of the

future?

422: Would Dobby forget himself sometimes and think that Malfoy is still his master? Forget

loopholes with Kreacher (there can always still be loopholes as we saw in OOTP), Dobby

sometimes punishes himself for saying something bad about the Malfoys even after CoS. Might

he obey Draco for a while?

430: Can one harness a horcrux and force it to give information ("There isn't a soul alive,

apart from himself, that can give us a full account of his life since he left Hogwarts").

"Soul alive", huh?

435: Are either Borgin or Burke RAB?

444: Dumby thinks love is more powerful than Voldy's kind of magic...

445: Aberforth may be Albus Dumbledore's brother, but is there an even stronger connection,

maybe one's a horcrux...

446: Did Voldy come to hide Horcruxes?

449: hee hee hee... So blunt, Ron...

456: Another dream: Malfoy turns into slughorn who turns into snape... If this is a vision

of what happens at the end of HBP, where does Slughorn fit in...

462: Will Draco crack further under pressure in DH? More than he did at the Battle of

Hogwarts in HBP?

465: Why DID Tonks come to the seventh floor corridor? I am somewhat suspicious of Tonks and

sense a connection with Malfoy (474)

475: Did Lily and Snape have any sort of relationship?

476: 24 hour bottle? But on pg 188 it says it's a 12 hour bottle, from dawn till dusk...

479: "Most efficacious if picked at twilight"?

485: "Your poor friend Rupert"? Some professors say the wrong name of students (particularly

Binns), but Rupert Grint happens to be the actor who plays Ron, the very student to whom

Slughorn is referring to. Was this line intentional, coincidence, or gaffe?

488: Any significance of the ballad of Odo?

495: Why was this part of the memory originally censored by slughorn? He readily admits to

having excellent contacts and leverage.

501. The death eaters didn't understand? What about the warnings Dobby gave to Harry before

the school year in CoS? What did Lucius Malfoy know about the diary that Dobby knew Hogwarts

would be dangerous? --pg 508, ah...

502. What did the unicorn blood end up doing in the first book? How about Nagini's "milk" in

the fourth?

506: He used Nagini to kill Frank Bryce? Well, Nagini ratted on Frank but Voldy AKed him,

right?

518: I think it would be very useful for Latin to be taught at Hogwarts. Then they will

understand the spells they are casting...

519: Has anyone else been taking Felix Felicis besides Harry?

526: Is there anything else in this cathedral-like room that will be vital besides the

vanishing cabinet?

532: In the midst of this nastiness, was Snape trying to send helpful hints to Harry with

accounts of his father's misdeeds?

539. Well at least continuing your detentions with Snape next year is one thing you don't

have to worry about...

543. Her Tarot Cards... besides the Lightning Struck Tower, are the earlier ones also

portents?

554. Who was Rosmerta kicking out?

560: Dumby to Harry: "Your blood is worth more than mine". Forboding...

562: Yeah, like Ron saying "Accio Brain" in the Brain Room? Not always the best idea...

563: Magic always leaves traces... finding them a skill Harry will undoubtedly have to learn...

564. Only one wizard can do it? Harry will shortly be of age... Perhaps Harry will have to search for Horcruxes alone...

572: What is dumbledore channelling?

575: Ah, so these are the Inferi

576: Could Dumbledore become an Inferius?

578: Just HOW important is Harry's blood? It gave rebirth to Voldemort, could it serve more use?

583: Was he muttering the incantations so the Death Eaters could escape?

592: Draco to be redeemed in DH?

594: Hey, that's the nickname I've been using for Dumbledore... Dumby...

596: Yes he AKed him, but the victim isn't usually thrown like that...

599: Is Harry capable of using the AK? Or is there something worse than death that Voldy doesn't realize...

601: Probably Snape taking some last minute points away from Gryffindor...

Snape gives Harry some last minute advice? Hmm... maybe snape isn't really evil? Rereading HBP, I feel that there is definitely many hints pointing to the fact that this was all planned out with the knowledge of Dumbledore. That was my original thought, which changed a couple of weeks ago to "Snape is Evil" and now it is back to "Trust Snape"

Also, RAB could be RABastan Lestrange, but is almost certainly Regulus Black.

612: "Gryffindor rubies glistened on the floor like drops of blood". Interesting simile, perhaps this observation is a nod at the UK Childrens Edition cover of Deathly Hallows? There are a lot of rubies there...

613: Will Bill attack them at the wedding? Would that be why their robes are in tatters?

617: Did Snape not know that it was happening that night?

618: Who purchased and snuck in the Weasley Wizarding Weazes products that Draco used?

619: Notice that snape didn't kill anyone else, though he easily could have.

620: A barrier that requires a dark mark to go through? Perhaps one of the horcruxes is behind such a barrier. Maybe Harry will need to employ the help of a relapsed Death Eater. Draco, perhaps?

626: Will Dumbledore's portrait be helpful in the next book (I still think Chocolate Frog Cards will have a role...)

627: Slughorn didn't recognize Harry's potions as Snape's?

632: But has Fawkes left Harry for good?

633. Is Zacharias Smith, a Hufflepuff a descendant of Hepzibah Smith?

636: Will Harry's dreams help him find Horcruxes?

639: Is it the fake horcrux that he is wearing in the scene on the cover of the US Edition

645: Was this white smoky phoenix Dumbledore's patronus?

649: "He will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him". Verbatim what Dumbledore said as he was being suspended in CoS...

Harry Potter Book 5 Order of the Phoenix Curios

5. What happened that transferred the "electric shock" from Harry to Vernon?

Can dementors restore the souls they suck out?

18. Did Harry's worst fear change? Was Voldemort's rebirth scarier than his Mom's murder?

30. "All dark... Everything dark. And then I h-heard ...things. Inside my head...." -Dudley. I thought only wizards could hear their worst memory, that muggles couldn't experience that. Is there something about dudley, more than meets the eye?

34. Red and gold sparks? Gryffindor rage?

40. Did we learn who sent that howler to Petunia and what it meant?

47. Wait, won't the Ministry detect magic at a muggle home and suspect Harry? They DID when Dobby did magic in Book 2...

52. Will Tonk's ability come in useful in DH?

70. What kind of jobs are there for humans at Gringotts?

80. Does evanesco put things away, make them hide/vanish/disappear? The same spell used to put away the top secret parchments also disposes of the failed potions in Potions Class

95. Dumbledore doesn't care what they do to him as long as they don't take him off chocolate frog cards. This supports my theory that there is an important reason for him to be on there and that they are the key to the series...

106. A large opal set with What kind of blood? Dragon's?

Audio -- on a walk

Is a houseelf allowed to lie to their master?

RAB: My original thought has been Regulus Black, that which I had the day the sixth book came out, and just realized he died the year Harry was born, the year before the events at Godrics Hollow. If it is not Regulus, I'm pretty confident that it is someone in the Black family. After all, in the foreign versions the B in RAB is replaced with whatever letter begins the translated Black last name (ie: Zwarts, RAZ)

How does the fidelius charm work? Can someone who knows about a place before the charm is cast find it once cast?

Heavy locket a horcrux? Another day-of theory

Why odn't other wizards emply side-apparition like Dumbledore does for Harry in Book 6?

Any significance to any of Dumbledore's five names?

166: Perhaps the Sorting Hat was right about Harry in the first year that he should have been in Slytherin for another reason besides his connection to Voldy: Jealosy and aspiring for greatness, green with envy...

189: Glad to see a Jew have some prominent role at Hogwarts as Anthony Goldstein is the Prefect of Ravenclaw...

255: Will having a house elf that doesn't belong to you pick up your own clothing set it free? It's not like Dumbledore is handing the hat to them...

275: What was this phenomenon around his midriff? Did he have the hots for teacher? No, seriously. What was going on with that and his head scar when Umbridge touched his arm?

336: Aberforth Dumbledore is the Bartender here.

342: I wonder what Neville said in the British edition. Here he is corrected after he says Sorcerous Stone.

344: "As though waiting for people to cry 'Surely not!'" Really? Who talks like that?

391: Can dark detectors be fooled? What exactly happened to the foe glass that was "owned" by the FAKE Moody in 4th year?

399: So Hermione WAS almost in Ravenclaw... Why did it decide on Gryffindor in the end. Will she show her self braver than smart IN THE END (book 7)?

422: One of the 12 uses of dragons blood is to clot giant attacks that don't seem to congeal on their own? Also notable that this dragon's blood is described as green, whereas I don't think we get that description from any other occasion we see dragon blood...

428: Gubraithian fire? An everlasting fire does sound useful...

429: Indestructible goblin wrought helmet? Wasn't one of those on the UK Childrens Edition cover of DH?

443: Thestrals prefer the dark but at the end of the school year they pull the wagons during the day...

458: Ron gets one of the best lines of the series in response to Harry saying that Cho was crying: "Are you that bad at kissing?"

470: What is that silver instrument and what is it telling Dumbledore?

478: That's a conveniently rapid way to send a message, but won't fawkes run out of feathers on a particularly busy day?

482: He HAS predicted things with dreams before, though. He had a vision of snape using the AK, replacing Draco in book 1, something that actually happened in book 6

486: Who was the old stooped wizard there and was he the one who later gave Bode the deadly plant?

488: Unusual kind of poison in the snakes fangs? Could it kill horcruxes, perhaps?

489: Willy Widdershins sounds suspicious. Why is he trying to constantly harm muggles?

503: Ron bought Hermione perfume? It's obvious that they will 'ship in book 7...

510: It's surprising that Lockhart, who used to get so much fanmail, has never had visitors. Was it revealed to anyone outside the trio and Dumbledore that he was a fraud? They write but they don't visit...

510: I wonder who sent the potted plant, but how about the hippogriff calendar

523: Is that mirror still going to come in handy? Did Harry forget about it and would its use have prevented the affair in the Department of Mysteries?

525: The shopping bag... did it contain custard creams purchased via mail order from the Weasley Twins?

527: Will harry ever employ Legilimency against a death eater, maybe even Voldemort? Will he ever use Occlumency again?

529: Why does snape have to take those memories out? He still hates harry. Does he just want to avoid the Protego shield causing Harry to have access to those memories?

531: Does Snape employ occlumency against Voldemort?

534: Was that a compliment from Snape? Harry shows aptitude at something? That's a first...

552: JK Rowling (as well as the movie version of this book) show that Ron's patronus is a Jack Russell Terrier. Could it actually be a Crup?

553: Was Occlumency more beneficial or detrimental? Did snape have alterior, sinister motives to perform legilimency on him?

558: Had the dementors defected at this point (is it how the death eaters escaped?)?

563: A galleon for two coffees? Where were they? Starbucks?

593: Another interesting cut-off question. Why DOES Snape keep calling Voldy the Dark Lord. Doesn't really support the "Trust Snape" camp...

613: Ah, Willy Widdershins... if he's been attacking muggles why is he also working with the ministry?

614: Headmaster Fortescue? Any relation to Florean Fortesque and does the former headmaster have to do with the ice cream salesman's abduction in the summer before HBP?

617: That was pretty dumb of Hermione not to enchant it with the spell that other students used to hide the quibbler that wiped it clean if the reader was not the owner of the magazine... She should know better...

626: Prefects can't dock points? But way back when Percy threatened to take points...

657: Arithmancy to break curses??? Okay... that's interesting...

658: Harry remembers the knife from Christmas two years ago but not the mirror from the past Christmas?

665: Is it bad tidings that DH is the last book and there won't be three more books: Auror School Years 1-3

698: Is this parting of the ways with the Centaurs final or will the centaurs finally take a side in the war

705: I've noticed a trend in Transfiguration. Do things transfigured in class have to be alliterations: porcupine into pincushion, owl into operaglasses, etc...

I've just thought of something: What's Black and White and Red all over? Answer: Yes. This is the order of deaths in the latter HP books, the last one is a prediction. Sirius BLACK, ALBUS Dumbledore (Albus means White), RUBEUS Hagrid (Rubeus means red). I predict it is all over for these three.

768: 6-2-4-4-2 = M-A-G-I-C on a touchtone phone...

769: Why was it completely empty and why was the visitors entrance open if nobody was there?

Some of the more obvious questions here:
772: What's with the brains
773: What's with that veil
774: Why can only Luna and Harry hear voices from beyond the veil. Does it have something to do with the fact that only they can see thestrals, that only they have witnessed death?
775: The very-locked room? is it filled with love?
784: How do the Death Eaters take this information that Voldy's a half-blood (784, by the way, is the number of pages in DH)
790: are all the time turners gone, or are they going to play a role in DH?
794: If the cabinet no longer had time turners, why did it keep regenerating itself?
795: Has Pluto since been removed from the planet room? I guess since this book takes place in 1995 and the last one takes place in 1997, then it is still a planet...
796: I guess Pluto's gone anyway...
799: What do the Death Eaters know about that veil? They all stop when Harry is near it.
805: I had always thought that the second jet of light was red, another stunning curse and that Sirius was stunned when he toppled into the veil. The movie makes it quite clear that he is hit by Avada Kedavra which leaves no doubt that he is dead. Why he is absorbed into the veil is anyone's guess, I think it is where you go when you die, which is why Luna and Harry can hear it.

812: High cold voice? Hmm... I think I have been looking at the "Snape Kills Dumbledore" thing all wrong. Might Voldemort been disguised as snape in book 6. Probably not, but just an idea...

813: What spell did Dumbledore send at Voldemort that caused the gong reverberation?

816: Did love cause Voldy to disappear, or was it the sudden appearance of the peanut gallery? Also Harry's eyes turned green in the movie... I know... But they're normally blue in the movie, even though they are always Lily-green in the book.

817 The elf and goblin statues applauded Dumbledore? How inappropriate...

839: In which ways have Dumbledore watched Harry more than he can imagine?

780: On the prophesy glass is inscribed "Dark Lord". DOn't only death eaters refer to Voldy as such? Who encapsulated the prophesy?

863: The veil... do people visit the dead? How does it work?

Harry Potter 4 Goblet of Fire Analysis

1. Where is little Hangleton? Is it in the UK or is in Eastern Europe (like Albania)? Where is the Graveyard at the end of the book?

5. If Frank Bryce was so deaf, how did he hear all of Babymort's conversation with Wormtail?

7. Milking Nagini... this supports my theory that bodily functions of snakes replace those of humans for voldemort: Mother's milk brings life to infants, whereas the "milk" of Nagini the snake brings life to Babymort. Shedding blood will kill a human, Voldemort's horcruxes can be destroyed by shedding a flying snake (dragon)'s blood.

8. Harry Potter doesn't matter to wormtail. I think that the lifedebt will be paid involuntarilly because of this statement.

10. "One more death"? Whose death? Isn't Bertha already dead? Is the one more death Dumbledore's?

20. Voldy was the most powerful Dark Wizard in a century? That eliminates Grindelwald (defeated 1945) but who was more powerful than Voldy in the 19th century?

54. You'd think a girl with dentists for parents would have something done about her buck teeth...

57. Anything particularly sinister about gnomes? Crookshanks seems to eschew rule-breaking and evil.

61. Any relatives of Ludo Bagman with the initials RAB? Just wondering...

62. Seriously... what DOES Bill do? Is he a Tombraider?

73. Luna likes Quidditch? "Lovegoods" is plural and her mom's dead so I assume they are talking about Luna and her father.

84. Sigh. Oh Archie...

98: Do goblins get in trouble with the law frequently?

The Following I listened to on audio book and don't have the page numbers

ch 9: Another accurate dream from Harry...

Why would death eaters want to make a ruckus without an active Voldemort?

Why was Draco alone and was he forewarned? Was Lucius involved?

Does Winky have to obey Barty Crouch Jr. or is Winky in charge?

Where are Goblins allegiences? With money?

Why isn't Harry affected by Veela, neither here at the Quidditch World Cup or with Fleur?

Why do Winky and Dobby react differently to their being set free?

Hmm... I think a different weasley clock was described in BOOK 2 (as opposed to Movie 2 in which the clock mentioned here is displayed)

JK'd better explain what Bill does for a living...

Do they have homework during the summer or not? So far the contradiction score is 2 to 2 in the series.

Why was Dumbledore staring at the ceiling in the Great Hall?

Should we take literally that the Sorting Hat has brains? Are they from the Brain Room at the Department of Mysteries?

Something in the lake pushed Dennis Creevey back into the boat? The giant squid? Is the squid a good guy?

What is Peeves' backstory?

Are any of the ghosts going to play a role in DH?

RESUME Pg 193

193: If Harry was allowed to pick these electives, as mentioned at the end of book 2, why does he stick with it? Why doesn't he take another class instead of his least favorite, Divination? There's a reason he needs to be in this class...

196: Likewise Care of Magical Creatures. Why is Draco still in it? Isn't it an elective?

197: Hermione: "dragon blood's amazingly magical, but you wouldn't want a dragon for a pet, would you?"

201: "'Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?' said Ron". Wait until sixth year. Hoo boy...

203: The events don't seem very unusual... They have to modify muggle memories quite often.

219: Why does the fake Moody give Harry this information of how to defend himself with Unforgivable Curses? Why does he attack Malfoy earlier?

227: Why was Neville awake (strange way to end an HP chapter...)?

229: Could someone address a letter to Sirius Black or Voldemort, send it by owl, and have the owl followed in order to find the quarry? That would be genius!

232: How did Harry fight Imperio so well on his first try?

236-7: Yeah, Neville will have his day in Book 7 and prove 'em all wrong.

252: why is Harry not affected by the Veela? Is it the same reason he can fight Imperio?

278: What is this binding magical contract? Is it like the Unbreakable Vow in book 6, that you die if you don't compete?

301: Isn't Colin supposed to be in a class at that time? Why is he an errand boy?

339: Blank buzzing?

Portkeys: On demand or predetermined time? The one for the quidditch world cup was set for 5:07 AM, the Triwizard Cup was presumably set for the first one to touch it. Did it have to be set for round trip?

367: "Hagrid had a point... they were all right, really, dragons..." My elipsis trail-off theory! Plus it gives credence to my theory that Harry will embrace dragons in book 7

376: Um, if the outfit has a hogwarts crest, didn't someone have to give them clothes? Aren't they technically free. Winky didn't have that uniform earlier... Also, How can Hermione set the house-elves free by knitting them hats? Is she in a position of ownership to set them free?

381: How do House-Elves reproduce... on second thought, I don't think I want to know. I don't want to envision some hot house-elf sex...

413: You'd think they'd change it to Santa Claus in the American Edition. They did that in the second book in reference to the Burrow's Garden Gnomes... Here it's Father Christmas

How would a human mate with a giant? Alright, I'm done with these questions about the birds and the bees.

453: why does Dumbledore keep staring at the ceiling and did he actually cause himself to go "deaf"?

454: I feel Aberforth (Albus Dumbledore's Brother), who is also the bartender at the Hogshead, will have a role in the final book.

Voldemort is the product of a muggle father and a woman who is practically a squib. Yet he is the progenetor of Aryan - ahem - Pureblood eugenics? Interesting...

482: again, why not americanize the terms in the US edition? Aqua lungs should become SCUBA gear or something...

506: It's obvious a set up for a Ron/Hermione 'ship

=535=

555: I don't know if this means that the Fudges are going to die (as Crouch says he will soon be joining his wife and son.

558: Why does Snape say that Dumbledore is busy? Is he just being a jerk to Harry or is there a legitimate reason or is he Voldy's man and this is part of the plan.

575: This book is dated... NINE Planets? Now there are only eight... I wonder if that is going to mess with the predictions of Trelawney and Firenze...

576: What did Astronomy teach that was different from this lesson on Astrology?

576: They're talking about Barty Sr., right? Will anything come of the Giant Owl? Will it come, instead, in the form of a dragon?

582: Fawkes doesn't seem to feel especially emotional at the sight of Harry. Do new incarnations of phoenixes retain the memories after the previous one burns up?

Any etymology of the pensieve from pensive (musingly or dreamily thoughtful, from the root, to think)?

588: Where does one get a magical eye like moody's?

591: Did Voldy know about Dumby's speech here, that Snape defected and turned spy for Dumbledore?

595: exiled? At what point did these trials take place? After Voldemort's "death"? But the Ministry didn't think Voldy was coming back... Or was Voldemort kept at bay for awhile during his lifetime? Did they dare attack the Longbottoms after Voldemort met his demise in Godric's Hollow?

602: I thought JK said that the Pensieve did not play out memories how people remember them but rather as they actually happened. Why did Dumbledore say that some trials come back to him "more clearly than others... particularly now..."?

612: Notice how she refers to Voldemort in the present tense...

617: Ogg? Interesting name for a giant, seeing as there is a man in the Bible named Ogg, king of Bashan, who is considered to be the last of the antediluvean giants that survived the Flood, finally defeated by Moses...

636: Yew tree? Is this an important detail, such as the fact that it is the wood from which Voldy's wand is composed? How about why Harry's is from Holly?

647: "Your powers intact"? Can one lose their powers? Will this play a role in DH?

648: They KNEW of the Horcruxes? They knew of the steps he took for immortality? Long ago, by the way?

649: Will the silver hand have anything to do with trying to kill werewolves, either for bad (killing lupin) or perhaps for good (killing Fenrir Greyback)?

653: His stated goal is to conquer death...

654: So Quirrell was just always that nervous...

654: Did Voldemort know of what happened in Year 2 in the Chamber of Secrets and that one of his horcruxes was destroyed? It is conspicuously absent from Voldy's narration....

655: Which death eater? Crouch Jr? How would she know?

662: Is it unusual that Harry can successfully fight imperio, especially Voldy's?

Did people actually see what was happening in the maze during the task from the bleachers?

664: Music is stronger than magic... Why the phoenix song?
-- The latter is probably because both tail-feathers come from Fawkes, pg 697
679: If Snape appeared in the foe-glass maybe it means he is actually good

696: Why did Dumbledore exhibit a gleam of triumph when Harry said that Voldemort can now touch him without getting hurt?

707: Were the dementors under voldy's comand last time 14 years before?

710: What were voldy's opinions of snape at that time? Was he the one to be killed for leaving him forever? Is Voldy one to deviate from his word?

713: What was Dumbledore asking Snape to do? Was this a long term plan that included Dumby's death?

723: Any symbolism to the fact that the Durmstrang students gravitated toward the Slytherin table? Particularly notable as Malfoy said early in the book that he would have gone to Durmstrang as they only allow purebloods there. Are there any non-Purebloods in Slytherin or have there ever been, besides Voldemort?

724: Didn't notice the thestrals?